Monday, December 29, 2008

Christmas is Going to the Dogs



We had an awesome Christmas this year. We got to stay home AND have my mom and dad there and see Jamey's family. While I'm sure it won't happen often, it sure was great getting to see everyone so easily. Santa was very generous and Ruby got a kitchen, tricycle and table. She loved it all. Each morning she makes us our "coffee" and handed out cups around the room. The kitchen has a nice grill with sizzling sounds. If real food sounded like that when being cooked I might worry a bit. It sounds like the ending of Dad's Mexican Train Dominoes set.

My big gift was a Kindle (electronic book reader). Its making me rethink my library. If books are going to be electronic, perhaps I don't need quite so many shelves in my library plan. With all the space savings, now visions of baby grand pianos dance in my head. Jamey may not have come out ahead with that gift even with the books being 30% cheaper than the paper equivalents. How much does a baby grand piano cost I wonder?

Jamey got an Ion drum set which is probably awesome, but we have been too busy to try it out yet. My parents went overboard like they always do and we got many fabulous prizes. The Showcase Showdown has nothing on my parent's gifts.

The real winner in all the gift was two dog beds. Ruby and Loki couldn't get enough of them and both of them would follow the dog beds from room to room in order to play/sleep in them. I think Loki set some kind of record for the most naps in one day.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Not the Mama

Mama?

No. That's not mama, but you are sweet.

Mama?

No. That's not mama, its a little girl.

Mama?

No! Mama is not Cruella De Ville!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Golf, shopping and food. It must be Thanksgiving!



Ruby, Jamey and I accompanied my mom and dad to Tennessee for Thanksgiving. Although the accommodations were sub par, the company was great and we enjoyed some rather cold mini golf and a Thanksgiving brunch at the resort.

Ruby was very thankful for unlimited food and came up with this great new face to express her appreciation.

Of course, Ruby takes after her daddy and has a hard time leaving work at home.


The problem with my parent's timeshare is that they have too nice of a house...on the water...why would you ever leave? We went back to their house on Friday. Mom and I did our Iron Bowl shopping (the malls are empty during the game). My Dad and Jamey decided to stay at the house, watch the game and work (respectively). Unfortunately, Charter hates them and the cable was out for the entire street. I was impressed at the bravery of the guy attempting to fix the issue. Cable out... Iron Bowl game... hand me the Kevlar.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Gunn Show


Had a fun weekend. We went to Belk's on Sat and got to meet Tim Gunn. For those of you who aren't familiar, Tim G is an advisor and overall celebrity for Project Runway. He is also the host of his own show and author of a book (and apparently from my gift bag, a day calendar for 2009). The best thing on his resume I believe is his current title at Liz Claiborne, Chief Creative Officer. I think I'm totally going to shoot for that at my job.

Coworker: Why is your keyboard upside down?
Me: I'm being creative! I'm on my way to CCO! You know, Chief Creative Officer!
Coworker: In that case, would it be creative for you to throw away those 3 week old coffee cups that are growing toxic mold?

The fashion show was fun and Tim was very nice when we talked to him for our picture. His cohort (I'm assuming a Liz Claiborne representative) was asking me for feedback about my Liz Claiborne shopping experience. I asked for them to add extra fabric in the jacket sleeves so that they can be let out more for those like me who have long arms. Tim's response was to "tjuzs it" which basically means do something so crazy with your clothing that no one will notice that your sleeves are too short. This seemed somewhat odd advice to me. After the fashion show, there had been a Q&A session where a woman had asked about how petite women should dress. Tim answered that petite women are the most forgotten about body type in fashion and need lines designed just for them. Now wait a minute. I know for a fact I have NEVER seen a Tall section in a department store but there is ALWAYS a petite section. Why weren't they told to "tjuzs" it?

I think its pure discrimination. When a short woman or full figured woman complains she cannot find clothes or has to get them altered people are sympathetic (with the exception of me, of course). When tall skinny women complain they can't find clothes, people glare at them. I don't mind that your fit model is 5' 7". I understand I am freakishly tall with gorilla like long arms that drag the ground. It's safe to say over half your buyers will need shorter sleeves and get it altered. Just leave some extra material in there for the % of us to have let out. Until then, I will "tjuzs" it.

Coworker: Why do you have your sleeve rolled up with a candy bar tucked into it?
Me: I am tjuzsing!
Coworker: I think you have that CCO thing in the bag. Have you tried our Employee Assistance program?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween Get Together

We haven't hosted a Halloween party since 2002. Usually we go to Boo at the B&A warehouse which I highly recommend. With Boo falling on actual Halloween, babysitters are tough to find. Jamey consented to have us throw a Halloween "Cocktails in the Creepy Courtyard."

The evening began with some good family fun in the form of taking Allison and Ruby trick or treating. Without meaning to my brother and sister-in-law and I choose similar themes.







Jamey and Evan hung out in their awesomely decorated courtyard complete with fog machine(to my shame I did not get a picture of it, but if you were a kid in our neighborhood you had the most awesome trick or treating experience ever!)

We served caramel apple martinis wtih a slice of apple and gummy worm to complete the look while Ruby enjoyed her first night of candy.


A few friends came over and I was impressed with their creative costumes.
Rorschach of Watchmen

Robin Sparkles and Barney

Jack and Jill

1950's Dad and girl from Juno

Monopoly Money Man

We ended the evening with Jamey giving a whole new meaning to the term Napoleon Dynamite.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Picasso Makes it Work


Project Runway had its finale this month. Several friends have banded together in our strange obsession with the show. Someone cooks dinner, someone cooks dessert and we sit around and eat as we watch skinny models. We even pick ponies who we think are going to win (Atlee won this time - see picture for his winnings). I know my fascination with the show is the pure creative and constructive talent it features. Not only do you have to be able to design a look, you have to sew it in a day or two. My sewing skills are legendary (and I don't mean the good kind) and I struggle to understand how people actually sew something well enough to wear it to an event other than a Halloween party. For the past two years, I have pushed myself by sewing Halloween costumes for myself in the hopes of improving. This year I see 4 days to go and no "make it worked"idness within me. I suppose I will throw together some last ditch effort. Luckily, with my obsession with Halloween, I have quite the history of costumes to choose from. T. Gunn is in the Belk's house here in Bham on November 8. Maybe we can entertain ourselves between seasons by stalking him.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Ginger Snaps Back


Although this happened in August, I'm just now getting around to posting about this. It's my blog, I can do what I want. And I definitely want to let you guys know the best new ingredient in your kitchen. Ginger Snaps! Our last Supper Club was hosted at my place and we used our awesome screened in porch as a Dining Room (honestly that is the case 90% of the time). The theme was Ginger Snaps Back. Although I had Ginger Snaps as a theme ingredient in mind, some people read it as ginger and that was perfectly acceptable. Atlee and Amanda made some ginger ale that makes Buffalo rock seem meek. In their typical brilliant fashion, they compensated by pouring in coconut rum. yummmmm. Yvonne whipped together shrimp coated in ginger snaps for an appetizer.Bill and Dawn made a ginger onion tart as a side dish which insured we would not have anything green contaminating our plate. As for me, I took some advice from Pat Zurasky and tried the Saubraten. This involved filling the house with the smell of vinegar for two days as the meat marinated then adding crushed gingersnaps to the crockpot after hours of cooking for a gravy. The result was good but it will be a year or two before I got through all that again. Of course, the best part of the evening was dining in our awesome screened in deck. It was the main reason we bought the house and can i say "Worth it!"? I would be remiss if I didn't point out the amazing dessert. Are you guys ready for your mind to be blown? What is better than banana pudding? "Nothing!" you exclaim. What if...just what if...it had ginger snaps instead of vanilla wafers? HEAVEN!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Next Stop - Olympics!



I've noticed in many Olympic events, there is always great discussion on how young the athlete was when they began a sport. In that case, Auntie Karen has organized it so that Allison and Ruby will be gold medal swimmers by signing them up for an infant swim class. I've thought long and hard about the best sports to get your child into. Ideally, you want a sport that doesn't require a ridiculous time commitment, lots of travel, painful watching on the part of the parents or too much special equipment. Judging by my coworkers, baseball and soccer are vey demanding. Swimming is fine... until a swim meet. I remember three things about being on a swim team as a child. The pool is ridiculously cold early in the morning, the swim meets are painfully long and Cricket and Kelly Zurasky were the only thing making it fun. They did this by having cool games like grease the watermelon and throw it in the pool and make all the kids get it.


It was with some trepidation that I threw some swim diapers on Ruby and proceeded to Gold's gym for the lesson. After stripping down to a bikini (hey, a girl has to have show some benefit from throwing up for nine months) I took Ruby into the pool where we say her auntie and Allison. My mom served as the personal Paparazzi. The teacher had us all sit on the side of the pool with the infants. We sang a song to some generic tune I don't know the real some for. It basically went "This is the way we wash our feet, wash our feet, wash our feet....etc etc" Once the kids have had water thrown on them we ease into the pool and begin their lesson. Kicking is followed by reaching out for a toy. I start to see how this will actually turn into swimming. All the children covet Allison's toy which is a Hip hop a pottumus instead of the standard duck or ball.

By the end, the kids are exhausted and the parents had a good workout too. I'm looking forward to the rest of the lessons even though the instructor frowned when I threw a greased watermelon into the pool...

Friday, September 5, 2008

Naked

"I just sent a picture of myself with no clothes on over the Internet." After deciding that the sentence I had just heard was new at the top of my list of Things You Never Want to Hear Your Mother-in-law Say, I struggled to find the appropriate response. Surprisingly to me, the first words out my mouth was "To who?"

The story that unfolded could only be found in the land of Juju. Jamey's mother was showering when she heard my phone (still confiscated after several months) ringing. Completely ignoring her previous lesson of not getting my phone wet, she leaped from the shower to answer it. Right here is one big difference between my mother-in-law and myself. I cannot imagine what possible phone call she might be receiving that is so important a shower cannot wait. Regardless, she missed the call and frantically tried to find out who it had been.

Cell phone use it not my mother-in-law's forte. Whatever hurdles she faces with new technology are exceeded by her lack of eyesight and hearing. As she punched buttons randomly she heard the sound of a camera clicking and then saw that the phone was saying "Sent". Now is probably a good time to mention that Juju thinks that the cell phones use the "Internet".

With story fully explained, I reassured her she would have only taken a picture of the floor since she was looking at the keypad. I then checked the pictures just to be sure and there was nothing there.

Juju has moved out of our house now and I find myself with time to Blog again. Sorry for the August blackout. No picture this post, but would you really want one?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Old Dog, New Trick


Now that Loki is 12, he's starting to show his age a bit more. Recently, it has surfaced in a complete intolerance for hot weather. This being Alabama, that's not working out so well for him. We tend to walk every night after dinner. Loki cannot even back it back home before he starts wheezing and his tongue turns purple. Jamey developed a patented method for dealing with this problem that involved carrying the 50 pound dog and pushing the 22 pound baby in a stroller. When this happened on our walk last week, I developed a new method.



Although Loki enjoyed the stroller, the problem was not fully solved. We still had to carry the 22 pound baby. Plus, I worried that one of our neighbors would wreck as they drove by and stared at the charming picture Loki made in a baby stroller. I can imagine the associated conversation.

Gladys: Abner! Abner! I saw that crazy couple again today and THIS time they had the dog in the baby stroller and the baby had to walk.

Our solution certainly improves the walk for Jamey and I and Loki. Unfortunately, Loki "Ancient Mariner"TM horror breath knocks Ruby out.

Friday, July 11, 2008

I scream, you scream

Jamey and a tendency stick to a routine unless deflected from it by me for one reason or another (Jamey, it's Saturday, don't go to work.) Since his mom moved in with us I've learned he comes by this trait very honestly.

One new routine he's adopted from his mother since she moved in is partaking of large amounts of vanilla ice cream every night. This 1000 calories or so must be ingested while exclaiming how absolutely delicious it is with every bite. (Jamey's mom does the exclaiming, Jamey just nods).

My polite refusals to join in are met with stunned "Are you sick?" questions. While I am, indeed, sick this week I will have to come up with a new excuse next week. Of course I could tell them the truth.

"Juju, Jamey I have something to tell you. Normal human beings cannot consume vast quantities of ice cream on a daily basis. You guys are freaks of nature and I sincerely hope Ruby inherited your ability to pour food into a leg for safekeeping where it will work its way into the air and disappear leaving you thin and healthy. If I were to partake with you, I would quickly find myself shopping for a new wardrobe and on cholesterol lowering meds."

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Juju Time!



Jamey's mom moved in with us while she builds her house. I'm looking forward to lots of stories. While she is one of the sweetest people I know, she's highly entertaining. She's only been with us a bit, but I have story #1.

We don't have a landline so I left her my cell phone to use. She decided it was dirty and ran it under the faucet. I have a new cell phone now.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Happy Birthday Ruby!

On June 14th, we embarked on what must be surely in the top birthdays ever. I double dog dare you to fit in as much your next birthday.

Room service breakfast


A game of pool...


A quick ping pong match



Splashing at sea world



Face to face baby shamu time





And to top it all off, a cupcake at sunset.

Monday, June 16, 2008

All good things come to an end


All vacations have the sweetest beginnings, but all good things must come to an end. We had our first big family vacation to Orlando last week. My mom and dad joined us and we even got to visit with Ruby's great Granddad.

We found one simple truth, a one year old is not hard to entertain. Therefore, a big trip to Orlando and a sprinkler in the backyard are probaby equal. Regardless we had a good time.

Jamey entertained Ruby at the hotel pool and, strangely, fitness center while I went to my conference.


After my conference, we headed to Downtown Disney and the Rainforest Cafe.


Ruby highly enjoyed the fountains in Downtown Disney. She ran through them happily and clapped when we were finished to show her appreciation.







Next post... Ruby's birthday which includes more activities than you might guess.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Don't they kill cattle for this?


My house has been infected with Hand Foot and Mouth disease (which is really just a virus). Ruby brought it home from daycare where it has manifested itself as sores all over her mouth, feet, legs, hands, bottom...well everywhere. This was a good way for us to discover something very few people (and maybe parents?) know. Apparently, I either have a super immune system (doubtful) or I have had this as a child. I'll have to ask my mom. We also learned that jamey apparently never had this as a child. for him, there are no bumps, but a high fever headache muscle ache and nausea. I look forward to work days right now. It's the only time I get to rest!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

MMMMMMMMMOOORRRRRRRDDDDDDDDUUUCKKKS


Recently, I let Ruby type into notepad for her first foray into the wonderful world of computers and the wonderful world of creative writing. Here was her input.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV????rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrXXXXXXX

First of all, I was highly impressed by her ability to move between upper and lowercase. Truly, this was not a skill I expected until at least 13 months. However, the more I looked at her first message, the more disturbed I was. Clearly this is all a cry for help. Jamey and I decided early on to limit TV exposure to well, none actually, for the first year or two. For the most part we've succeeded but we have exceptions for babysitters, nailcutting time, those sorts of things. It's actually been really easy becuase we rarely watch TV. Ruby is demanding to know why we have left TV out of her life.

The second request surely relates to us being slow in getting her antibiotic ear drops. What a fascinating line of communication. I decided to try it again.

jkjdfhsdkjgdj

Clearly, Ruby hates vowels. wll hve 2 wrk n tht.

Monday, May 19, 2008

May Updates

Not posting very often is a very bad thing. As time goes on, the pressure to produce a post worthy of the long wait grows and grows until J.K. Rowling would have a hard time. Sometimes there is nothing to do for it except accept that there will be a relatively boring update post. So here we go....

Jamey had a smashing birthday back on May 2nd.


I had a somewhat stressful birthday. Jamey gifted me with three beautiful koi fish for our pond. He gave them to me by drawing a picture of three cartoon fish on a card. When I went out to the pond, I saw one sad lonely pretty fish being attacked by about 5 unattractive goldfish. I proceeded to grab a skimmer and attempt to beat the mean fish off the new fish as I yelled at them. Jamey watched me for a bit, sighed and pointed out gently that you cannot train fish. About 15 minutes later I gave up and headed to work. Once I got home, all three new fish were present and swimming happily with their goldfish brethren. I came to the inescapable conclusion that I had trained the fish and am now ready for a National Geographic special, "The Fish Yeller"

For Mother's Day, I grabbed my mom, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, her mother and grandmother and a good friend and we all went to Sips and Strokes. We preceded to make a "Crackled cross" which was fun to do. I have no idea what I will do with my new found crackling ability, but I'm sure it will come in handy.

This Memorial Day weekend, we deemed it "Craft weekend" and got lots of home projects done. Highlights include freshly painted cabinets with overpriced adorable hardware from Anthropologie and a new ceiling fan for Ruby.



Ruby is terrorizing the dogs by mowing them over with a lawnmower shaped object that doesn't actually accomplish anything. How hard could it have possibly been to make it a sweeper? It's never too early to earn that allowance Ruby! Ruby also took her first steps May 17th at our big family birthday party.


When Ruby isn't walking she's climbing....absolutely anything she can climb.


Shew! That's alot of updates. Hopefully, this won't have to hold you over till next month.