Guernica

Three signs it's time for Picasso's haircut.

1)Even Ancient Mariner Breath Loki is offended by Picasso's smell.


2)You can't see his eyes without a clippy.

3)On anyone else, Picasso's hair would look like an 80s Hair Band member.



Well, here is his new cut. You can see his demon eyes just fine now.

Deliciouso!

As we near Ruby's 9 month mark, I am continually amazed by her ability to find the most dangerous thing in the room in a ridiculously quick period of time and pick it up and put it in her mouth. Of course, its not enough for me to simply be amazed by it. I feel the need to quantify it and make sure its not just that remember the times she reaches for something that is not a toy, but is, in fact, capable of distinguishing a baby toy from objects of potential destruction.

Hypothesis: Given a choice between well crafted baby toys designed to stimulate her and a regular household item that is uninteresting but could cause harm, Ruby will choose the household item. Toys which have not been played with for at least 3 days will be used to guarantee maximum toy appeal.

Experiment 1: Stuffed Animal, Tape, Stuffed Animal

Result: Tape


Experiment 2: Block, Teething Ring, Batteries

Result: Batteries


Experiment 3: Stuffed Animal, Slobbery Dog Toy, Stuffed Animal

Result: Slobbery Dog Toy

Experiment 4: Book, Rubber Ducky, A&D
Result: This is Darwinism?

(no babies were harmed in this experiment. Howqever, Picasso was kindof sad when she had his dog)

A Good Day!

Ruby met her cousin today and found her completely uninteresting. Still, it was a great visit and she was much too excited to sleep. After a long nap once she got home, Jamey took her to the park and let her swing which made her cackle with glee.

Tonight we ventured out for Mexican. Ruby loved the tamale and was so good we let her go to the bookstore afterwards and pick a prize.

She chose a Webkinz. For those of you not familiar, Webkinz let's you "adopt" your stuffed animal and care for it online. Although Ruby chose it for its softness and dog like shape, I was curious as to what fun she can have with her pet online. First of all, I was very impressed by the security lesson at the beginning. Your username should not be one that someone can guess and your password should have a number in it. After having gone through all that security, I can only think "Why?". Will someone log on and give my dog an apple? Horrors! Her pet "Baba" (she named him herself) now has a balloon, apple and chair. Weeee! Still, I guess I see the appeal. It is basically Sims for stuffed animals. All for $11.95! One day when Ruby feeds her dog marshmellows, I guess I'll know why.

Stock Tip

It's a tricky market. Ruby Greenspan keeps a firm eye on what is going up in value or becoming yesterday's news. Let's look at the latest stock report.

As you can clearly see, after a slow start MAMA stock is going up in value. Finally the Ruby Industrial Average is recognizing the value of cuddling to the population. DADA stock, after a strong initial upswing, is unable to pace the MAMA. Both stocks lag behind Dog Toys Inc for obvious reasons.

For those of you invested in the RRTDAC, be on the lookout for a new public offering yesterday at 3:01 in Allison Guy Griner Industries (Symbol:AGGI). Ruby is predicting future high return results after an initial slow growth period.

Let them eat cake!

I may have already mentioned this, but let me repeat myself in the name of clarity before I move on to the post. All the baby books tell you the importance of talking with your newborn. In the beginning you start with nursery rhymes or songs. Then you realize you don't know very many of them and start to work in more adult themes. After asking your newborn's view on what makes a great president and what makes a good husband (same things by the way fiscal responsibility and diplomacy), global economy, best movie ever etc.; you start to descend into babbling somewhere around the 6 week mark (also when you are about ready to go back to work and have a real conversation). I was deep into babbling territory when Jamey came home one day and listened to me tell Ruby that she was the Princess of Cakes. For some reason, that title stuck and has been tossed around quite frequently. Text Messages of "I have the cakes" obviously mean she has been picked up from daycare.

On to the post!

Last night, Ruby met one of her subjects for the first time. Day care is a nice introduction into "lots of time consuming things that the babies probably don't appreciate but you do it anyway in the name of being a good parent/teacher". Along those lines, they had a Valentines Day party today so I was busy last night experimenting with eggless cakes (children under 1 year should not eat eggs). I used a "Wacky Cake" recipe from Depression era times when people could not afford eggs. A combination of vinegar, baking soda and salt allow the cake to rise. I decided to experiment on Ruby to see if the cake would be well received. Observe the interaction between Princess and her loyal subject.

Cake: I have a property dispute I was hoping you could resolve great princess.
PoC: Yes, I'm listening.

Cake: Ahhhhhh!
PoC: Oh, I am so sorry! I have no idea what came over me!

PoC: Well, it appears I am not so sorry after all. Baliff! Bring in the next subject!

I Resolve to Not Resolve

Well, the holidays are definitely over. Luckily for me, we plan on going on a vacation to recover. Next week it's off to Steamboat Springs for some skiing action. 5 days of no dogs and no baby. Choosing between sleeping and skiing will be tough! I hope for a fun new journal to post when I get back.

However, I would be remiss if I did not share some snapshots to cover the whiteout of the blog from the holidays. Allow me to catch you up.

Santa was very good to Ruby

Yvonne was very good to Ruby



Ruby is a gangsta in her new jacket from Grandma.



Loki is old and can fold his tongue like an accordion


Karen and David are now adequately prepared to have a baby.


Now that I can check that off the list, let's move on to an actual post. Karen and David showed me a book they have of New Year's resolutions from the past several years. Not only do they write them down, they have a ton of them! It makes me wonder why I have never made a New Year's resolution. Am I so afraid of failure that I can't even propose an idea for one? Even after racking my brain I still can't come up with any. Is keeping up status quo a New Year's resolution? It's taking about all I have to do that. How about refusing to stress over whether my house sells? That would probably benefit me the most but it bothers my requirement writing mind because I don't feel its verifiable and testable. Maybe that's the true problem I have with writing New Year's resolutions. I spend all day writing contracts for systems. Am I too tired from that to write a contract for myself? What would the review process be? I think I do need that vacation.

In other news, we watched the movie Sunshine this weekend to test out our new rockin' projector from xmas. Now, we haven't watched a movie in a long long time which maybe compounded the disappointment we felt in it. I don't think the first half of a movie has ever been so promising and then sink so low. I don't think any of the following is specific enough to be a spoiler, but don't read on if you are paranoid about that sort of thing. Before you go off and watch the movie, I suggest you stop it halfway through and go write your own ending. Then keep it that way and leave that hour of your life a positive experience.

**The following paragraph contains vague complaints about the movie Sunshine which you shouldn't watch anyway so just read on**
The first half made me so happy. There was even a discussion on risk management! Oh joyous day. I love sci fi, I love the idea that at the heart of physics, there is God. However, I cannot buy that at the heart of physics there is Satan and God. Also, I can't buy that someone would attack someone with a knife, then drop it in favor of a bolt tightner as a weapon. My mom, while quite possibly irritated by the large plot problems, only voiced complaints about the errors in spaceship design. I found that cute. I have to agree with her there were quite a few. Who put that vat of dangerously cold coolant for the "mainframe" in the floor for anyone to accidentally slip into? Griner trap!

Merry Christmas!

Well, we are off to the lake house for a fun Griner Christmas. I'll post again after the new year. Work is under control again for me so maybe I will even be clever!