Cooking Mama

Moving on Up

2011-10-31T19:55:00.000-07:00

Cora has moved up to her toddler class. As a graduate of "Baby Birds" and moving up to "Busy Bee", I decided to give a nice little compilation of her status sheets from Baby Bird. Jamey is in charge of dropping the kids off. This is a big job involving a less than relaxing ride to and from work. However, Jamey felt it needed more effort. As such, he looked through the news every morning determined to find the best representation of "child's mood" to fill in on the daily status sheets. I also enjoyed the reaction (or lack thereof) from the teachers under "Teacher's comment's"Here is a best of collection

3/28/2011
Child's Mood: A SWEDISH MEDICAL STUDY FOUND THAT REGULAR JOGGING MAY ACTUALLY BE GOOD FOR THE KNEE JOINTS - PROMOTING CARTILAGE GROWTH AND INCREASED BONE MASS. THE STUDY MADE NO MENTION OF THE EFFECTS OF CRAWLING ON KNEES. SO CORA SAID SHE WOULD TAKE IT EASY - JUST TO BE SAFE.Teacher's Comments: None.

3/29/2011
CHILD'S MOOD: PEDIATRICIANS ADVISE YOUNG FEMALE ATHLETES TO NOT WEAR SPANX. CORA SIGHED LOOKING AT HER THIGHS AND SAID NO AMOUNT OF SPANX WOULD MAKE A FASTER CRAWLER ANYWAY.
Teacher's Comments: Cora enjoys playing with the sensory bottles (Stacy note: water bottles with crap in them and the lid hot glued on) today. She seemed very happy today.

4/1/2011
Child's Mood: THE NATIONAL BIRTH RATE FELL 4% BETWEEN 2007 AND 2009 - MORE THAN IT HAS ANY TWO YEAR PERIOD IN THE PAST 30 YEARS. CORA SAYS THE BIRTH RATE IN HER HOUSEHOLD HAS ALSO SHARPLY DECLINED.
Teacher's Comments: Cora enjoys playing with the tactile teethers with friends today. Have a great beach vacation!!!

6/14/2011
Child's Mood: BAGGAGE FEES FOR AIRLINES IN THE US REACHED $3.4 BILLION IN 2010. CORA SAYS SHE'LL GLADLY PAY EXTRA IF IT MEANS SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO LEAVE HER 2200 WATT HAIR DRYER BEHIND.
Teacher's Comments: Cora did a great job today trying new foods from the menu. She really enjoyed being able to sit and eat with the other children. She fussed a little if we did not bring her food quick enough. :-)

6/6/2011
Child's Mood: CORA CASUALLY DISMISSED THE RECOMMENDATION LAST WEEK FROM THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF PEDIATRICS WHICH STATES CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS SHOULD NEVER USE ENERGY DRINKS. WITHOUT HER COFFEE AND RED BULL, SHE'D NEVER GET THROUGH THE DAY.
Teacher Comments: Cora enjoyed playing in the tunnel and practicing to walk with Ms. Brittany today.

6/9/2011
Child's Mood: FACING POWER SHORTAGES, SOME JAPANESE OFFICES ARE TRADING AIR CONDITIONING FOR OPEN WINDOWS AND THE SUIT AND TIE FOR HAWAIIAN SHIRTS. CORA GIGGLED AT THE THOUGHT OF AN ENTIRE BUILDING FULL OF PEOPLE DRESSED LIKE PAPA.

6/10/2011Child's Mood: US NEWS AWARDED THE DASH DIET A 3.9 OUT OF 5 STARS. CORA IS CONSIDERING GIVING IT A TRY TO GET READY FOR SWIMSUIT SEASON. BUT SHE'LL START MONDAY, BECAUSE SHE IS NOT SKIPPING BIRTHDAY CAKE THIS WEEKEND.
Teacher's Comments: Cora enjoyed water play today. She loved being outside and did not mind water splashed on her. Have a great weekend. Enjoy the birthday cake before your big diet Cora (Stacy comment: This is the only reference I ever say that they read the mood)

6/13/2011Child's Mood: A NEW TYPE OF ARTIFICIAL HEART KEEPS 8-MONTH-OLD CALF, ABIGAIL, HAPPY WITHOUT A HEARTBEAT OR PULSE. IF ABIGAIL GROWS UP TO HAVE A CALF OF HER OWN, CORA WONDERS WHAT SOUND TO PLAY IN THE BABY'S CRIB TO KEEP IT HAPPY?
Teacher's Comments: Cora enjoyed tossing small balls in the tunnel today with Ms. Brittany. Her hand and eye coordinating is developing more and more.

9/2/2011
Child's Mood: FEDERAL AUTHORITIES RAIDED AND HALTED WORK AT GIBSON GUITAR FACTORIES IN TENNESSEE IN A SEARCH FOR ILLEGAL WOOD. CORA IS GLAD THE RAID WAS TOO LATE TO IMPACT SHIPMENTS TO GUITAR CENTER FOR THEIR BIG LABOR DAY SALE, BECAUSE THAT 15% OFF COUPON IS BURNING A HOLE IN HER POCKET.
Teacher's comments: Cora enjoyed Thomas's birthday party today. It was a great start to a long weekend.

9/1/2011
Child's Mood: THE AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS SAYS NO MORE BOXING AS A SCHOOL SPORT. THIS IS GOOD NEWS FOR CORA'S CLASSMATES WHO NOW HAVE A LEGITIMATE EXCUSE TO DECLINE HER REPEATED TAUNTS TO MEET HER IN THE RING.
Teacher's Comments: Cora enjoyed playing with small balls and squeeze toys today.

9/12/2011
Child's Mood: CORA WAS DISAPPOINTED WHEN SHE WAS TOLD YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY EAT A "DOUBLE-IRISH DUTCH SANDWICH", BUT CHEERED UP WHEN IT WAS EXPLAINED SHE COULD USE THIS STRATEGY TO PAY SINGLE-DIGIT CORPORATE INCOME TAXES ON HER LIFE COUCH CONSULTING SERVICES BUSINESS. Teacher Comments: Cora enjoyed playing peek-a-boo while in the tunnel today. She also took one step by herself today. Yea Cora!

9/15/2011
Child's Mood: COMPUTER PROGRAMMING JOBS REMAIN COMPETITIVE IN OUR STRUGGLING ECONOMY. CORA STRUGGLES WITH WHETHER SHE SHOULD LEARN OBJECTIVE C OR JAVASCRIPT FIRST.
Teacher Comments: Cora enjoyed playing in the blue tunnel. She really liked making funny faces at Ms. Brittany while inside the tunnel.

9/6/2011
Child's Mood: CORA PREPARES TO SAY HER FAREWELLS TO THE PARTICLE COLLIDER OUTSIDE CHICAGO AND LOOK TO THE LARGER HADRON PARTICLE COLLIDER NEAR GENEVA FOR ALL HER QUANTUM PHYSICS RESEARCH NEEDS.
Teacher's Comments: Cora did not take a second bottle today. She waited till snack. If she keeps this up, we may take the second bottle away also.

9/7/2011
Child's Mood: CHILDREN MISS AN AVERAGE OF ONE MORE SCHOOL DAY A YEAR IF ONE PARENT SMOKES AT HOME; ONE AND A HALF IF BOTH PARENTS SMOKE. CORA THINKS NOT GETTING TO GO TO SCHOOL AND SEE YOUR FRIENDS IS A FILTHY DIRTY HABIT.
Teacher's Comments: Cora was surprised to see herself in the Mirror Me book! :-)

9/12/2011
Child's Mood: CORA WAS DISAPPOINTED WHEN SHE WAS TOLD YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY EAT A "DOUBLE-IRISH DUTCH SANDWICH", BUT CHEERED UP WHEN IT WAS EXPLAINED SHE COULD USE THIS STRATEGY TO PAY SINGLE-DIGIT CORPORATE INCOME TAXES ON HER LIFE COUCH CONSULTING SERVICES BUSINESS.
Teacher Comments: Cora enjoyed playing peek-a-boo while in the tunnel today. She also took one step by herself today. Yea Cora!

9/15/2011
Child's Mood: COMPUTER PROGRAMMING JOBS REMAIN COMPETITIVE IN OUR STRUGGLING ECONOMY. CORA STRUGGLES WITH WHETHER SHE SHOULD LEARN OBJECTIVE C OR JAVASCRIPT FIRST.
Teacher Comments: Cora enjoyed playing in the blue tunnel. She really liked making funny faces at Ms. Brittany while inside the tunnel.

9/23/2011
Child's Mood: CORA HAS LONG BEEN A FAN OF MIXING ANIMAL PRINTS IN HER WARDROBE, SO SHE WAS HAPPY TO HEAR OF AFRICAN FARMERS MIXING COWS AND ZEBRAS ON THE RANCH. COWS AND ZEBRAS PREFER DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE GRASS STALKS,S O THEY MAKE GREAT GRAZING BUDDIES.
Teacher's Comments: None.

Cora Zee is One!

2011-09-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

Cora had a jam packed birthday this weekend. She celebrated for three days... at least.

A party at the zoo which even included her 7 day old cousin Max was a hit. I gave out Bingo cards for the kids to fill in as they found animals. Cameron had fun trying blackout. I still question whether there is a porcupine. Cora got to get close to her favorite animal...ducks!

For some reason, Cora likes to put food on her head now. The cheeseburger made the best and.. honestly, less messy, hat.

Grandma gave the favorite gift....a chair just like Ruby's. Cora loves to climb in it.

Not pictured is the awesome toddler guitar I got Cora. It plays real music like the Police, Elvis etc and.... the most important feature, volume control! You can play the strings while the song is playing and it adds effects. There is also the all important whammy bar. Ruby is the one who loves it the most. She told me today "I like it almost morer than Cora." This is not the dig on Cora you might expect. Ruby went into our driveway this morning and played every song complete with dancing motions. Ahhhh... it's awesome being our neighbor.

Ruby's first girlie birthday party

2011-08-26T06:14:00.001-07:00

Ruby had her first truly girly birthday party experience. The salon hosting it did a good job. Personally, I would have spent about 5 minutes doing a 4 year olds nails, but they were true perfectionists! The makeup on Ruby was the best. Rainbow punk rocker sheek. I love it!

Ruby has two extremes. She wants to be just like a boy or be the girliest girl ever. There is no in between. Princess dresses or spiderman clothes. Since this was girlie enough on the princess side, it made it acceptable. After being made up, the girls posed for some future album covers.

We stayed out till 9:30 which is way late...for the parents. Ugh, when did I get so old. Not to worry. A trip to New York two weeks later convinced me I can stay out late as any late thirties year old trying to reclaim their youth. Post to follow...

Cora's first mouse...and duck

2011-08-01T19:54:00.000-07:00

Cora has been saying Da da and Ma ma for weeks now, pretty much since she got tubes in her ears. Yeah tubes! She says
"Da da da da" when she's happy and "ma ma ma" when she's upset. It's great. She got to play with the fake computer this weekend for the first time and she started out happy "Da da da da" and ended up mad at it "ma Ma MA!" I sympathize. Sounds like a typical computer experience to me. Her methods of typing got a bit unusual.

Tonight she said her first word which is actually the same as Ruby's first word. Every Monday night, we have a pool night at our neighborhood pool. I brought some rubber ducks for her to play with. I was chatting with friends and she was reaching unsuccessfully for the duck on the table next to me and she said "Duck!" and I handed it to her. Then I realized what she had done. Go Cora!

Fantastic Four

2011-06-14T15:41:00.001-07:00

For about 6 months, Ruby was insistent that she was going to have a superhero party. As her birthday approached, I started doing some research on places to host a superhero party. Oh, and Ruby wants to invite all her cousins and her friends. Let's see, 20 kids, party somewhere that is not my house = how much money? Agh! Well, I'm not a project manager just by trade, its a way of life. I was determined to not only have a party for much cheaper, but also to have it be awesome.

Jamey started it off with designer invitations that I think he should sell. They rock!

Ruby took them to class and placed them in everyone's cubby. She then came home happily showing me an invitation to one of her friends birthday party...for the same day...and the same time. After conferring with the other mother, I moved mine out a day so they could have a weekend of parties.

I proceeded to plan the events. I informed Jamey he would be a villain and the kids, after going through rigorous super hero training, would defeat him. I outlined a chart of the activities in 15 minute increments. I then ordered all the supplies for the activities and started to make some props for the event. About a week before the party, Jamey said "You haven't planned this well enough." I stared at him waiting for the punchline, but he was serious! I pointed out that I had the party planned down to 15 minute intervals. He rebutted with the fact that the kids spraying him with Silly String wouldn't take 15 minutes. I crossed out the times, reducing it to 5 minutes and wrote in a 10 minute activity of "kick villain in crotch." Jamey didn't offer up any more changes to the timeline after that.

The main prep work for me was to make each of the kids a cape they would earn for completing the obstacle course. Some yards of felt and iron on velcro would do the trick just fine. RSVPs were pouring in and I was somewhere around 22 capes to make. Jamey worked on the computer through nights one and two as I cut out capes. As he sat there, he started to offer some thoughts on the capes. "You should make a logo with each kid's superpower out of felt and attach it to the cape." I replied that I was planning on using fabric paint to write the super name on the cape. Jamey made a face. Clearly, a 4 year old, when presented with a personalized cape, would turn their nose up at fabric paint and only a custom felt logo would do. A trip to Hobby Lobby later, I was armed with felt, iron on letters for monograms and fabric glue.

I'm not sure why Jamey is such a powerful stakeholder in my projects. He's the worst kind of business sponsor, offering up suggestions only after you have a plan in motion. I started ironing on the velcro straps as Jamey read while doing situps. I know. I have no idea how that's possible either. After about 1000 situps, I asked him for help with the capes. With two of us, we were able to whip through the rest pretty quickly.

The last night of cape work turned out to be pretty fun. My parents came down and my mom, Jamey and I made the felt logos. Jamey and mom provided the most artistic custom logos and I placed a nice generic star with a monogramed 1st initial for parents who didn't give me a superhero power. Mom and Jamey may have outclassed me, but I had volume of output on my side.

The custom ones were great and included

Flash - Lightening Bolt on circle background
Unlimited Strength - large set of barbells
Wonder Princess, Super Power "Saves the Day" (by far this is the best super hero power ever. The entire team is throwing rocks with their mind, turning invisible to sneak up on bad guys, whatever, and this chick comes in and waves her hand and BAM! Day saved.) - Jamey created a sun logo with a crown
Forcefield - a shield
Cone of Silence - a person reading a book under a cone (family joke referencing the fact that I and my nephew are completely oblivious to the world when we read)
The Pacifier - Cora's cape with a pacifier on it.
Birthday Girl - a cake with 4 candles

We even made capes for Mama Bear and Ginger, Ruby and Taylor's lovies.

The big day was almost here and I was feeling a bit sorry for myself as I went to bed that night. I had a terrible sinus/ear infection and although I had started antibiotics that day, I was not 100%. As I lay in bed with my ears throbbing, Jamey came to bed and started talking about how he had researched activities we could do for the party that night and had some ideas. After almost a month of researching activties, planning and purchasing supplies, I was underwhelmed at the avenue of help being offered at this point. Luckily, due to my not feeling the energy to get irritated, I simply replied "OK. What?" I vetoed a cake walk and a few other ideas that would require more effort than we had time for. Finally, he offered up an idea that required no additional purchases and, while it sounded like a good way for kids to get injured to me, seemed harmless enough. "OK." I said. "The Save the kitten from the tree one. I'll add that."

The day before the party, my sister, her hubby and their 4 kids showed up with awesome posters to decorate in tow. They immediately went to work on any assignment I would give them. My sister and I are products of my mother. There is no such thing as going halfway on an assignment. I asked my sister to make buildings for the kids to jump over and she proceeded to not only make buildings, but a city complete with a "Curves" building (cut out pictures of women working out pasted onto the windows) next to "Cora's Candy Shop". I then asked my sister and her son Spencer to work on the obstacle course. I pictured a few boxes to jump over and a tunnel to go through.

They had higher aspirations and I winded up with the following training obstacle course

Jump through the "Ring of Fire!" (a hula hoop with red streamer suspended from the ceiling with a rope)
Crawl under the lasers (pool noodles draped across the large buildings in the city)
Leap a building in a single bound
Crawl through the Tunnel of Terror
(my personal favorite) Save the Baby from the Pit of Snuggly Doom

Just a few last finishing touches and we would be ready for the party. I went to Wal-mart to pick up the cake. Say what you want about Wal-mart, but I had a good experience ordering the cake.
Unsuspecting bakery employee - "May I help you?"
Me - " Yes. I would like to order a cake that has dinosaurs fighting super heros with flowers all around." Ruby had stuck to this exact phrasing when describing her cake for the last month so much so that I almost started to consider it a fairly normal request.
Employee, coming from behind the counter - "Well, that's a first. Clearly, they should be fighting around a volcano."
Me - "Clearly. I think you've got it. Do you need two phone numbers? Surely, the person will have questions about this one"
Employee - "Not necessary, I'm going to schedule myself to work that day just so I can make this cake."

Cake in place, I took out a Halloween box and sifted through it to find Jamey a villain costume. Jamey decided he would wear his old Robin costume and put a felt water drop on it and call himself Mr. Drip. I stared at him. "Couldn't you come up with something cooler? That wouldn't even scare Cora." I think it was one of my sister's kids who suggested Dr. H20.

And now.... THE SUPERHERO BIRTHDAY

Kids walked up the driveway that was decorated with sidewalk chalk stating "Calling all Superheros, Report for Training" and arrows pointed to the garage door that had a sign stating "ENTER the Superhero Academy" The second part of the driveway had more sidewalk chalk stating "Danger, Do not enter. Beware Dr. H20"

As kids came in, there was a table with chairs around it, masks (cheap ones from Oriental Trading) and stickers to decorate them with (the jeweled stickers were the most popular, even with the boys). A sign hung above it saying PROTECT Your Secret Identity.

The kids then could go through the obsticle course, where my sister "Kim Possible" would direct them. Some kids jumped right in. Others were scared at first and then tried it. Almost all were obsessed with saving the baby and wanted to do it again and again. My niece Taylor awarded the personalized capes as they completed the course.

The kids went over to the wall where it said "POSE. For the Newspaper" Here was my first planning mistake. I hadn't designated a photographer and I was too busy to take many pics. Still, I got a few good ones and Karen supplied some from her phone.

Ruby was surprisingly outgoing (for her) and had all her friends dancing in their capes to the Superhero playlist I had made.

Jamey's mom won best costume for sure! What a cool grandma!

I blew my whistle once the kids had been there for awhile and lined them up. I informed them that there was one final test before they could graduate from the academy. (Here is where Jamey actually took one of his ideas I had discarded and had spent some time shopping and putting it together to make it work.) The kids were presented with a cardboard tray (free from the friendly butcher at Publix) to punch through to prove their super strength, The kids loved this best of all the academy activities. I discovered that it worked great for 4 year olds and that I was lucky not to get my gut punched by the older kids (7-9) who had a longer reach.

The time had come for the graduation. I asked what superheros do once they have their powesr and one of the kids replied "Fight bad guys." I agreed and let them know that the evil Dr. H20 had been around and that there was no way he could stand up to all us superheros. I declared that we needed to go out there and find him! The kids followed me somewhat reluctanly with a few saying "I'm scared." Ruby told them all that the villian was her daddy and that calmed most of them (with the exception of Allison, who, in her defense, knows Jamey and realizes he could be scary).

After waiting in the hot driveway for a few minutes pretending to look for him, I realized Jamey was not out there. I took the kids on a hike around the yard. Once we reached the driveway again, someone had cued Jamey and he appeared firing his super soakers and throwing shiny green rocks on the ground. He then ran off. I yelled "Stop. That's Kryptonite." Some boys tried to chase jamey but I corralled them back and started to explain about the Kryptonite when young Henry ran over, picked it up in his hand, and yelled "Green!" triumphantly. Eventually, I blew my whistle and got out some "Kryptonite Krypts" (coolers) and some tongs. The kids took turn picking up the shiny green rocks (painted by my mother) and placing them in the cooler. Strangely enough, the kids took turns with the tongs with no adult direction and, really weirdly, they separated the Kryptonite into the two different types by cooler. That was nowhere in the instructions. I guess humans like order instinctively.

At this point, I lined the kids up and asked them to name some superpowers that I might be able to grab from the academy to help them. Ruby came up and started explaining how she would talk to the bad guys and that was her superpower. Have I mentioned that Ruby can talk and talk and talk? I asked for more ideas. After getting several, Taylor said "Webs!" and I nodded. Atlee and Kim helped me hand out the Silly String.

I told the kids we would look for the villain again. I turned on the sprinklers and took them for another walk around the house. I yelled that the water was on and H20 must have done it and we ran through the sprinklers (those kids who wanted to that is). Jamey was inside, tossing back a cold one and chilling out waiting for his cue. I sent his mom in to get him and kept the kids busy firing at leaves on the driveway. By the time Jamey appeared and was silly stringed to defeat, most the string was out (a fact for which he was extremely grateful).

I declared Dr. H20 defeated and told the kids they had absorbed his power. We handed out spray bottles of water to the kids and let them play in the driveway while we went in and got the food ready.
The rest was pretty normal, cake, ice cream, etc. Ruby really enjoyed handing out the goody bags. I found some really cool super hero rubber ducks at Oriental Trading to go in them. Some kids decided to play the get the kitty out of the tree game. I think 80% of them were injured somehow, but they seemed happy enough in spite of that.

At the end of the day, I would guess I saved about $100 over having it somewhere else and spent a boatload of time. However, the kids had fun although Ruby probably won't remember it. The real secret? I had a blast. It was such a fun day and I enjoyed it all from the cape making to playing with the kids. I think I'm going to play superhero more often on the weekends.

Baby You Can Drive My Car

2011-05-14T19:34:00.001-07:00

I went to pick up the girls from daycare this week (a task that Jamey normally does). Jamey verified I was picking up the girls via email exchange and then went on home. When I got there, Cora was thrilled to see me. I was thrilled to see her. I was less thrilled to see that her car seat had not been left at the school. Thrillingness in a steady decline, Jamey did not answer the phone and daycare did not have any spare car seats. I realized daycare would close by the time I got home and back with said car seat.

Feeling out of choices, I loaded Ruby into her car seat and strapped Cora in front of me on the drivers seat. Petrifying fear that you are going to get in a wreck cannot be sustained for a long of period of time. Once I was driving for a few minutes I started to worry about other things. What if that cop I'm passing notices? What if some other driver sees me and snaps a picture and sends a chain email titled "Bad parents caught in action"?

Cora was less then helpful. She really, really, loved being in the driver's seat. This was expressed in a variety of ways from yelling like a zombie to spitting up on my arm. She also threw her feet up on either side of the steering wheel, squealing in delight.

Determined to keep my low profile, I kept my hands at 10 and 2 (now underneath her feet) and ignored the spit up dripping down my arm. At this point, Cora decided to practice her new trick of drumming on things with the flat of her palm. Unfortunately, she chose the middle of the steering wheel for this practice.

So, if you saw an Acura MDX with a redhead at the seat and a baby in her lap steering with its feet furiously honking its horn over and over to draw the utmost attention to itself...it was not me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Jamey's Bday!

2011-05-03T18:49:00.001-07:00

What's up 36? Portal 2, chipolte chocolate cake, family staying over from tornado power outages, the usual.

Picasso's Birthday

2011-03-31T18:21:00.001-07:00

We celebrated P's Birthday in true style. Ruby decided a piñata was just what he needed. Filled with candy and dog treats, of course.

If you give a Ruby a messy closet

2011-02-22T05:28:00.001-08:00

I took Monday off and spent it with Ruby. After a fun morning planting at Uncle David's house,

I offered Ruby a choice of the park or cleaning out Mommy's closet.

My closet gets sick occasionally, thoriwng up into the hallway. In spite of many all day closet clean-out marathon's, I just can't seem to accept that being orderly with my clothes on a day to day basis is more important than getting into pajamas 10 seconds quicker at the end of the day.

To my surprise and some dismay, she chose the closet cleaning. I quickly realized why as Ruby played the ultimate dress up game.

Beach Lunch

2011-02-13T04:59:00.001-08:00

Jamey truly is a master of presentation when it comes to toddler meals as evidenced by Ruby's "Beach lunch"

Cora is making great strides in the world of babydom..

She can bounce in the bouncy seat

She can roll from her front to her back and she started carrots and oatmeal this month. Cora loves to eat (even tequila marinated limes...)

Cora got some great Valentine's from her grandma...

I got the sweetest Valentine of all from Jamey, a day without slanty eyes and shark teeth in his stick figure drawings!

My Daughter the Dungeon Master

2011-01-22T12:38:00.000-08:00

Jamey and Ruby love to sit down and draw together. Often, Ruby is dictating the scene which Jamey dutifully draws in his artistic way. I'll often come across one of these gems as I walk through the house without having seen its creation. I've added some captions to the ones I know the most about...

The first is our very own Christmas tale. Jamey claimed a noise in the house was a mouse. I, seeing Ruby's scared face, said "No, there is no mouse in our house." Jamey went on to tell Ruby the only mouse in the house is Francois the Christmas mouse who collects Mommy's hair at night to make his nest. Ruby helped draw the hairs...it's nice to see she has her father's eyes.

Here is the depiction of our Christmas with the usual flattering rendition of me.

I stumbled across this on the coffee table one morning.

Was playing a D&D game with Jamey and my brother (yes, we really are that nerdy). Ruby wanted to join in and quickly grasped the idea of a maze with creatures. She drew the maze and ordered Jamey to draw the encounters to her specifications.

Another random encounter left on our Dining Room table. I'll leave it to your imagination.

Would you like more dirt with that dinner?

2010-12-27T18:36:00.001-08:00

For the first time in recorded history, Alabama had a white Christmas! While I was super excited by this, Ruby took it as proof that all Christmas books and shows are correct. "Of course its snowing Mama, it's Christmas morning!"

Ruby was super excited by her red fire truck. I like how gender neutral Ruby is. She took her Tinkerbell fairy dolls and they fought fires all day long. Ruby really got into opening presents this year and it wasn't like last year where we spent two days opening gifts. Partly its because I reined my parents in, but it was also due to Ruby eagerly asking for another present to open. Santa also brought Ruby a basketball goal and a dump truck.

We hosted Christmas dinner which turned out to be exciting. When people showed up, the toilet upstairs had just overflowed, Picasso got out and I dropped a good portion of our dinner on the floor. Luckily, Jamey's family took everything in stride and we still had a great time.

After patiently waiting for the day after Christmas to ensure no one got it for me, I sent my dad to Best Buy to pick me up a Kinect. Dad overheard someone saying that it can be hard to connect the Kinect system with an older XBox so he naturally decided to get us a new XBox. We had a blast with Dance Central and Ruby showed she can really get her groove on.

Happy 13th Anniversary!

2010-12-20T20:23:00.001-08:00

Jamey and I went to Atlanta the weekend of our 13th anniversary. We really enjoyed Woodfire Grill and Imperial Fez. For our actual anniversary, we met up with our anniversary buddies, Evan and Yvonne, at Veranda.

After being married for over a decade, I have a new theory on how to rate a healthy marriage. A marriage counselor only has to ask one question to immediately know how much work this couple will be. "What do you fight about?"

A typical marriage might have the following
money
how to raise kids
no time together

Here are some quotes of our top fights these days. All from my perspective but you can derive Jamey's point of view

"There are no magical ants that tesseract to baby formula powder if it is left on the counter between me making the bottle and cleaning up"

"If Prince is so superior to Michael Jackson, how come I would rather listen to actual doves cry then a single album of Prince's but you can put on any Michael Jackson album and have an instant party?"

"If there is a 10th circle of hell for people who open the dishwasher and only take what they immediately need out, I hope I do go there because those sound way more fun than people who don't."

13 years from now I hope we are still picking completely inane things to argue about. Of course, we'll still be arguing about Prince vs. Michael Jackson. Some marriage arguments are eternal.

We Created Our Creators

2010-12-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

Recently, we left Ruby with Jamey's mom for an evening of babysitting. Jamey's mom took the opportunity to tell the story of Baby Jesus. If she had warned me, I probably could have predicted how it would go. Then again, maybe not.

Juju: So God sent an angel to Mary that was so bright it hurt to look upon him.
Ruby: I don't like God.
Juju: Of course you like God. He made everything even you and Cora.
Ruby: Cora and I came from my mommy's belly.
Juju: But God created you there and the sky and the earth and EVERYTHING.
Ruby: No he didn't. Robots did.

I actually can guess where she got this idea. On a recent trip to McWayne center, Ruby was obsessed with watching the robots build a car. My mom commented "Robots are neat. They can make almost anything these days."

Rainy Day

2010-11-30T06:18:00.000-08:00

There are a few things in the deep south you don't mess with. OK. Make that lots of things including football, NASCAR, Republicans, and truck drivers who carry firearms. One thing on that list that I felt was pretty universal is tornadoes. No matter what your redneck status, we all bow before the tornado (when we are not getting out of our trailers to take some video to go along with the audio "It sounded like a freight train!")

Maybe Gadsden is not the tornado alley that Huntsville is, but Jamey lacks the proper respect. Take this morning.

Me: Do you hear that siren?
Jamey: Yes. Ruby get on your shoes. Let's go.
Me: Its a tornado warning
Jamey: So?
Me: For right here. Maybe you should wait a few minutes.
Jamey: Why?
Me: Why would you drive out now?
Jamey: Same reason I go to work every morning.
Me: An unfulfilled secret death wish that will leave you with no crying children and tons of sleep?
Jamey: Ruby, ask Mommy meteorologist if we can go now.

If my checking weather.com seems extreme to Jamey, he should have grown up in my family. My mother would have grabbed the baby from upstairs and rushed us all to the basement with a battery operated radio as soon as she heard the siren. In my mom's defense, our house in Huntsville got hit by a tornado 3 times in the time we lived there which seems to make tornadoes a statistic probability.

And the Big Sister Award Goes To

2010-11-18T06:35:00.001-08:00

Ruby has been absolutely great with Cora. She has an inner sweetness that must have come from some recessive gene. Last night she wanted to put on a puppet show for Cora (which Cora LOVED).

Also, look what she made in daycare this week when asked "What are you thankful for?"

Squirrels vs. Squirrels

2010-11-18T06:20:00.000-08:00

For as long as I have known Jamey, he has left me notes with cartoon pictures of squirrels on them. The above is a good example although they are not usually in color. Recently, I was sitting with Jamey's mom on the porch when she noticed a squirrel carrying something. I looked and informed her it was another squirrel. Before you say, aww how cute, I feel obliged to point out that the other squirrel was the same size as the carrying squirrel and was in the mouth of the squirrel. There was nothing cute about it.

A quick search online revealed that I have not been the only one to witness this and that squirrels are in fact, cannibalistic at times and will eat other dead squirrels (sometimes that they killed in a fight). This certainly has changed my perception of squirrels a bit and added a hint of ominous to our fuzzy tailed friend in the backyard. Jamey commiserated the occasion by leaving me the following note yesterday morning.

Since this happened several weeks ago, it took me awhile to figure out the significance of the picture. I actually had decided that it represented the fact that a zombie could not have awakened me that morning because I was dead tired. Regardless, I might have nightmares.

First Smile

2010-11-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

Cora gave her first smiles today to Grandma. Now, I must admit that Cora has had one object of affection that received a smile late last week but I really couldn't count it as her first smile since it was directed at a, while not inanimate, certainly inarticulate object. The fan was, I am sure, very worthy of the attention.

Still no smiles for Mama so here is a random picture of her in a cute outfit from Leah's mom.

Dads vs. Moms

2010-11-03T14:37:00.001-07:00

Halloween

2010-10-31T19:36:00.001-07:00

Kids are a great excuse to trick or treat. Cora took it easy and stayed home, but the rest of us had a blast walzting through the neighborhood on a surprisingly warm evening. Ruby did dain to wear her pink ghost costume made by Grandma and Yvonne.

I went as a more traditional ghost. I tried spraying my hair white but it looked more like an old lady costume that scary. My brothers family took on a disney theme. By far the best costume was my sister-in-law's mother. Lumiere! She makes costumes for plays so it would be pointless to try and outdo her.

That didn't stop Jamey from trying...

Pajama Pirate!

2010-10-28T06:07:00.000-07:00

Ruby decided quite a while ago that she wanted to be a pink ghost for Halloween. Right after we made her costume she changed her mind and decided she wanted to be Michael. So I assumed she didn't mean

or

or..but it would be awesome!

Ruby clarifies. "Mommy, the Michael in Peter Pan when he is fighting the pirates. That is what I want to be."
Mommy is a big fan of slightly obscure cinematic costumes so I got to work researching.

Hmm... why on earth does a little boy wear pink pajamas? Was that a thing in the 50s when Peter Pan was made? OK. I looked this up after this post. Pink used to be a boy color as a child version of the very masculine "red". Blue was actually a girl color denoting the Virgin Mary. Interesting.

A quick Google image search revealed that Ruby might be first toddler to request this costume. This morning she wore it for the first time for her Halloween parade at school. I think it turned out great. She's going to wear her pink ghost costume on Halloween proper (Which, I would like to point out, is not Saturday people!)

The supereior pumpkin patch

2010-10-25T10:31:00.001-07:00

We went up to North Alabama and got to go to Tate farms, which I will from here on out refer to as the Superior. After Hayden, we thought we knew what a pumpkin patch was like, but the Superior was much nicer. Instead of a field with some small pumpkins sitting around on it, they had an honest to goodness pumpkin patch with pumpkins on the vine. The prices were super reasonable too. If you could find a way to get the 100lb pumpkin to your car it was only $20 or so.

It was a big treat getting to go with not only Aunt Kim and "the guys" and Taylor, but we also got to spend time with my sister from another mother, Cricket and her adorable son Kyle.

Now, if you know me well at all you probably know I have two weeknesses. American Chocolate Cookie Companty and fried pies. Tate farm upped the ante on the fried pies by having not only apple and peach but also chocolate! Ahhh...heaven.

After worrying about our kids in the hay maze, my sister and I discovered we were the ones that were lost.

Everyone enjoyed the playground.

Cora stayed with Uncle Terry and Papa. Every baby knows Uncle Terry is the best nap spot ever.

Big Sister

2010-10-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

I downloaded some pics from my first three weeks of motherhood today. I'll have to do some catch up posts so here is one...

Ruby is such a fan of her little sister. She wants to see her first thing in the morning and first thing when she gets home. Ruby has already discovered one of the advantages of a sibling. I think Cora was 3 days old when Ruby messed up the pantry. When I asked how the pantry got so messy, Ruby said "Maybe Cora did it."

Ruby was very excited for us to take our first stroller ride together.

On Cora's one week birthday, we went to Veteran's park and had a picnic. Karen gave too realistic of an image...

so I had her redo it.

Uncle David enjoyed the benefits of bottle feeding while Jamey took me on a walk to help me get from looking 5 months pregnant to 4 months pregnant.

I will say that walking everyday since I got home has gotten me slimmed up quite a bit. I can't fit in my clothes yet, but I can fit in Jamey's and, frankly, that's probably more unbelievable.

Beach Trip!

2010-10-11T15:49:00.001-07:00

My dad's family has a reunion every year in Florida. Before you get too jealous, I probably need to point out that it is at the family farm out in the country and not on the beach. However, my family does use it as a great excuse to stay at the beach in the off season as well. This year, I had planned not to go since it was so close to Cora's due date. However, since she came early I decided to tag along with my parents. Traveling with a newborn is easy, as long as you have a long reach.

Ruby is completely addicted to the beach. Jamey and I are convinced that there is magic in the state of Florida that allows Ruby to go with no sleep while we are there. Every morning, her and Papa went down to the beach and Ruby threw herself into every possible beach activity with great abandon.

At night, we enjoyed the stay in my parents timeshare. Ruby was in hog heaven since she got a fairy princess costume and could watch Robin Hood from her bunk bed.

My favorite part of the vacation was having mom and dad take Cora for two nights of uninterrupted sleep. Ahhhhh..... I didn't have any "baby blues" this time but I did have what I am going to call "baby reds". A slight irritation with everyone and everything. Kind of like how I feel about everything Jamey does on a regular basis ;-) A good night's sleep made me my happy self again.

We took a quick trip to my grandmother's house before the reunion. Her health prevents her from attending. It is always interesting to see what my Uncle Reggie, who takes care of my grandmother, has been doing in the world of home improvements. I think first I should point out that my uncle Reggie has a real love of Conan novels. Last time I went he had decorated the house in a stumps and shot his bows and arrows in the backyard. He closed off the kitchen and dining room and started cooking on the porch. He also setup a place to sleep in the living room behind the couch. Kind of like a fort. Well, as my husband pointed out, you don't even notice the paint by number Last Supper on the wall anymore. This year, he has hit upon his real talent which is one my Dad shares, woodworking. He added tall fences around most the property and decorated it with wooden cutouts of bulls, horses and my Dad's symbol Hairy Photon. The fence work is extremely well done, but my guess is the churchgoers next door are going to miss the shirtless bow and arrow demonstrations. I will continually kick myself for not taking pictures while I was there. Descriptions will never do it justice. Next year....

The reunion was great. Several years ago, my brother pointed out how boring the reunion must be for little kids. I suggested we do a haystack hunt for candy like they used to do in the NASA picnics. Mom and Dad immediately grabbed onto the idea and have done it every year since. Ruby loved it and asked to go back to the "hay place" for the rest of our stay. Cora won youngest attendee. In addition to worrying about any typical threats to a toddler (poison ivy, bees), the farm has one extra threat that my dad was sure to remind me of. Bears. Really?

It was great getting to spend some time with my Uncle Ricky at the timeshare. He and my Dad share some similarities, especially in love of technology, that I had never noticed. I also got to hear some stories I never knew. For example, I knew my Dad was born in a log cabin, but I didn't know the doctor set him on a shelf assuming he wasn't going to make it because he was so early and weighed only 4 pounds. Eventually, a nurse came by and said "this baby is still alive". Have I mentioned how much I love modern medicine?

We ended the beach trip with an evening at the tiki bar on the beach. Cora's First Tiki Bar. I have a "firsts" calendar with stickers, but I couldn't find that one.

Yellow and Orange - Must be Fall

2010-10-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

Cora got some top of the line in home care for her jaundice a few days after arriving home from the hospital. A nurse brought a jaundice light that fit inside our bassinet perfectly. The bassinet was handmade by my dad when my mom was pregnant with my older sister. Since then all the kids and grandkids have slept in it. Since most of our family has big babies it usually only fits them for a week or two. Cora is small for our family and will get to use it awhile.

While we were waiting on the jaundace lamp to show up, mom and I got out the bassinet and set Cora on the screened in porch in it. She wiggled around and found the spindles with her legs. She gave a huge sigh of happiness and went to sleep. Must of reminded her of mommy's ribs. I really like that newborns don't move aorund. Unfortunately, Cora did not get that memo. She can roll to her side, lift her head and scoot around all at a few days old.

The jaundice light has a blue jacket the baby sits in. First thing Ruby did when she saw it was run inside. When she came out, she had put on a jacket to match her sister.

Seeing as how my recovery was going so well, I decided to let my mom watch Cora and Jamey and I could take Ruby to a birthday party at a pumpkin patch. What I didn't count on was just how bumpy a hayride can be. I don't have a picture of my face on the hayride but I'm guessing it was a sight to behold. Still, Ruby had a great time and it was a perfect place to entertain toddlers.

Sweet Home Alabama

2010-10-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

Jamey and I were more than ready to go home on Tuesday morning. We packed up and waited for the all clear from my doctor and Cora's pediatrician. My doc came by early and said I was good to go. Unfortunately, we waited and waited for Cora's. Aside from being compatible in every other way, Jamey and I were not meant to reproduce by nature I suppose. Due to my O+ blood and his A+, we like to give our babies jaundice and Cora was no exception. Luckily, hers is not as severe as Ruby's so we were sent home with instructions to test again the next day. Around 2 PM we got home. Cora continues to excel at sleeping.

Allison, in a pretty standard outfit for her, got to meet Cora that night.

Hospital Day 2

2010-09-30T12:29:00.000-07:00

Cora's name has been a source of discussion in the Taylor household since we found out we were having a girl. Jamey wanted to name her after his great grandmother Zeola. I was not the biggest fan although I like Zee. We listed all the names in the family tree and ranked them. We met at Cora. We also discussed how much I like boy names for girls and Jamey suggested Charley. I took weeks of my pregnancy calling my stomach Zee, Charley or Cora depending on my mood. I have to admit for while there Charley was the clear winner. Then I realized my niece's new dog is named Charlie and I read three books in a row with a dog name Charlie. Weird isn't it? I decided that was a sign either in the pro or minus. I looked into the future a bit

My daughter: How did you pick the name Charley
Me: I saw/read about four dogs named Charley and just couldn't resist.
My daughter: My therapy bills are going to be huge.

OK. So not Charley. Now Cora was still very appealing. It could be cute or grown up and it was unusual. Also it has good meanings "heart" or "maiden". I remember being so irked to realize my name meant "of the resurrection". What does that even mean, really? Zeola, let's call her Zee, was also unusual but had no meaning and everyone I mentioned it to said "what? Viola?" and I had to repeat it. I got tired of that quickly, so how would Zeola feel?

My daughter: I hate my name. I always have to repeat it and then tell people how to spell it.
Me: Well, your father really liked it and since he was having a hard time getting excited at the thought of two kids, I figured I should throw him a bone.
My daughter: My therapy bills are going to be huge.

OK. So I went dictator on Jamey and declared the winner to be Cora. I told him, with some slight trepidation, that he could pick the middle name. Jamey enlisted Ruby's help and came up with several likely candidates including Key, Pine cone and Aurora.

Now, here we sit in the hospital and a woman comes in with the birth certificate. I tell Jamey's it's time and the lady says "oh no, this is just the baby book certificate. You can still think about it." Jamey happily puts off the decision until the real certificate comes in later that morning. As he's filling it out, he starts laughing. Do you think New York has the same sample occupations?

He hands back the paperwork which I intercept and am happy to see Zee as the middle name. I love it. A nod to the family tree, but uniquely her own.

Today, our visitors are my mom, dad and Ruby for the most part. Uncle David dropped by since he was on a business trip the day before. He brings us a great lunch and makes me laugh so much with his stories that I have to take a Perkeset when he leaves.

Yvonne and Evan continue in being way too good of friends by bringing us sushi, wine and bubble teas with caffeine. It's like a smörgåsbord of pregnancy no-nos and I eat to my heart's content.

Cora is such a perfect baby that Jamey and I spend most the day reading. This may be the most relaxing vacation we've had in a while. Despite that, we send Cora to the nursery for the night and get a good 6 hours sleep. Ahhhh, won't see that again any time soon.

Hospital Day 1

2010-09-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

After Cora was born, Jamey's immediate job was to notify the family. In true introvert style for the 2010s, Jamey used text messages. There were two flaws with this approach. The first is my sister was not programmed into his phone and he forgot to tell my parents to send her the text. The second is that his mother is the same woman who once washed my cell phone in the sink when it got dirty. She thought the text was trying to sell her something and hit buttons till it went away. When my tech savvy niece got a hold of Juju's phone, she found about 100 text messages that had been treated to the "go away" approach. Luckily, his family was all at church together and they passed along the news.

Cora was so exhausted she slept through having her hair washed once we got to the room.

Our room at the hospital was fascinating. By that, I mean it has entertainment built in for the baby. Simply release the brakes on the bassinet and the baby will fly across the room. Apparently our room connects the old hospital to the new wing. Some construction genius was off on the measurements so they sloped our room to connect the two wings. It was enough of a slope to be visible to the naked eye.

Our first visitors were my parents and Ruby. Ruby was extremely excited yet cautious of the baby. I didn't discourage it. A toddler being scared of the baby is not all a bad thing. Mom and Dad brought a huge box of coffee from Starbucks (maybe a half gallon) and a basket of snacks.

Once they left, Jamey's family started showing up and showing up and showing up. The room turned into a party. Luckily, my easy labor meant I was fine with all the activity. The baby slept happily as she was passed from person to person. Oh and that large amount of coffee? We polished it off!

Aunt Karen dropped by and walked into the chaos. She left and Jamey's family slowly trickled out. Once they left, my sister showed up which was a huge surprise. Her and her children had jumped into the car upon hearing the news and drove 2 hours to visit. I was impressed with how much all the nieces and nephews oohed and ahhed over the baby. I don't remember really getting into babies when I was a kid. My mom and dad showed back up with Ruby and the Griner posse headed out.

Yvonne and Evan were our final visitors of the evening. Like angels, they arrived with Brio's takeout and a nice bottle of wine. Oh and what's that for dessert? That's right. A double doozie. Woo hoo!

After all our visitation was over, the nurse walked in for a final check of the evening. She mentioned that a Code Brown had been called for critical care unit and she would have to ask security what the story was. Seeing our confusion, she told us a code brown meant a fight. Later that evening Jamey and heard a Code Brown for Labor and Delivery. Jamey grabbed a camera and went downstairs. I yelled after him that he could probably just watch and episode of Maury Povich and get a similar story if he wanted but I don't think he heard me. Jamey missed the fight. After that, we settled in for the evening. Jamey and I shared the twin size hospital bed in part because the "dad" recliner would roll across the room if he tried to use it.

Through all this Cora slept and ate being basically a perfect newborn. I kept her in the room because I was concerned she would be taken away the next morning for the jaundice light like Ruby had been. I have O+ blood and both Ruby and Cora have A+ so it makes her a high risk for jaundice like Ruby had experienced. All in all the night nurses and Jamey's snoring woke me up more than she did. Maybe I would send them to the nursery on Day 2 instead of the baby.

Tomorrow's post - On Day 2 we get less popular and learn that Alabama's birth certificate form is a little depressing

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night

2010-09-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

After a ridiculous number of days with no rain, a thunderstorm rolled in early Sunday morning. I know this because I woke up realizing I had a wet leg and heard the thunder. Apparently a change in pressure was just what Cora needed to decide to make her way into this world. I woke up Jamey and we called the doctor. As we waited for the call back, I remembered my friend Valerie's story that the best thing she ever did when her water broke was to take a shower before leaving the house. I jumped in the shower and even took the time to blow dry my hair. By the time the doctor called back, I was dressed and ready to go. As luck and possibly a nesting instinct would have it, my parents were visiting us to help me check off the last items on my prepare for baby list so we didn't have to worry about what to do with Ruby. Jamey left them a note and we headed out.

As we left we commented on how great it was that there would be no 280 traffic at 1:45 AM. To our surprise 280 was filled with cars. Eventually we figured out it was traffic departing from an Auburn game. Despite the traffic we arrived around 2:30 AM to labor and delivery. Contractions had started in the car and were about 5 minutes apart. I was hoping there would be time for all the painkillers they had to offer. After last time, I was ready for a birth experience like Karen's where they had to wake her up to push.

The great thing about a middle of the night labor experience is the fact that there is no concern about who to call. Jamey did, I later found out, post a Facebook status that he was eating Triskets at 4 AM which may have given it away, but only to a serious Facebook stalker.

Once we settled into the room, they started the IV and gave me what my sister Kim affectionately calls the "groovy juice". It was like being instantly drunk. I would move my head and then my head would move kind of experience. I still could feel the contractions, I just didn't care. Jamey pulled out a box of Triskets and had a snack while I happily chatted away about who knows what to him. (He later exclaimed I was primarily fascinated with how many clocks I could see where there is one clock.

All good things must end and the groovy juice was no exception. Later, Jamey would comment that "Stacy only had to feel like 1 or two contractions". It's always nice to peek into Jamey world. It's a pretty interesting place and surprisingly upbeat. In reality I had about 45 minutes of strong contractions maybe 2 minutes apart. Anyhoo, it was enough to be really happy to see my good friend the anesthesiologist. The nurse filled him in on my previous experience and he analyzed me carefully before deciding I had a long back that was a little bit crooked, but not really. Whatever dude, start the epidural! He, having taken it as a personal affront that an epidural had not worked at this hospital last time, decided to play it safe it and set it up higher on my back than normal. Delicious numbness set up from my pinkie finger on down. It was awesome. The constant question I was asked by hospital staff after telling them epidural didn't work last time -- "Was it was here?" This makes me wonder if some other local hospital has a chronic problem with epidurals? An epidural tease of some type?

Giddiness is probably the best description for how I felt as the labor proceeded. I could actually feel the baby moving down my body and positioning itself for delivery but there was no pain. It was very neat. With Ruby's very I couldn't feel the baby at all because the pain kind of kicks any nuance out of any other feeling out of you.

Around 7:30 AM the nurse told me she felt like it would be time to push soon. I tried to call my parents to see if they were up yet and had seen the note. They didn't answer. My mom called Jamey back and told him she had seen the note and assumed Jamey was kidding. Only after walking into our bedroom and seeing it empty did she realize it really was time.

The doctors were changing shift around 8:30 so a new doctor walked in, introduced himself and caught the baby after 2 contractions. Jamey cut the cord and Cora "TBD" Taylor entered the world at 8:46 AM weighing 6 lb 13 oz and measuring 19.5 inches long.

Best things packed for labor - lip balm, Triskets
Least useful thing packed for labor - Kindle

Tomorrow's post - Telling the family, the party in room 238, learning the meaning of Code Brown and Cora gets a middle name.

Flag Quality Assurance

2010-07-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

Our neighborhood sent out a notice asking everyone to fly the American Flag for July 4th. Not considering us a flag flying type of family, I forgot about it. Turns out Jamey has a secret passion for flags. Since we already had a flag holder we went to the hardware store and picked up a flag. Jamey was appalled with me for grabbing just any old American flag when it is obvious to anyone that flags need to have each individual stripes sown and stars embroidered. $50 later we were on our way home, proud owners of a tremendous stitched flag.

Big Sister Training

2010-06-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

Ruby loves playing with the new baby doll her Aunt Kim got her for her birthday. Kim wisely predicted that the doll would let Ruby learn what the baby will be like and how to take care of her. I am happy to report that Ruby has learned much about the subtle details of taking care of a baby. Jamey and I started recording what she said on the subject recently on a car ride.

"Mommy, want to see a cool trick? You push the rubber band into the baby's eyes and then that's the trick!"

"I am having a hard time getting this rubber band onto the baby's neck"

"My baby likes to sleep in the water."

"My baby cries and cries. I'm just going to let him cry."

"Look what I did. I put his foot in my mouth. Then I chewed it up a little bit then I took it out of my mouth. That's what I did to his foot."

We had another good Ruby story today. Jamey and Ruby were grocery shopping when Ruby
stopped and said "My tummy hurts". Jamey asked her if it just started hurting. She replied "No. It started when I sat on something." Jamey asked her what she sat on. She replied "Kyle" which is one of her friends at school. Jamey explained about guilt and how it makes your tummy hurt if you hurt your friends. I am very impressed by this reaction from Jamey. When Ruby came home and told me this story, I had no idea where it was going and my response was laughing till I cried. I managed to get out a "Poor Kyle." but most of the time, I was turning away from her and trying to contain my laughter.

Three is a Magic Number!

2010-06-16T18:48:00.001-07:00

Ruby had a fabulous third birthday at iJump. I try to imagine what I would feel like going down a slide that is proportionately as high as the one was to Ruby, Allison and Julia and I can't but I have a feeling I wouldn't do it.
The only hitch in the birthday plans was a call from iJump 3 hours before the party saying they forgot to order the dinosaur themed strawberry cake. I told them I would go out and get one. I went to Publix first. Not only was there no strawberry cake or dinosaur themed cakes but there was not even strawberry cake mix. I bought some regular cake mix and prepared for a disappointed Ruby. Ruby's requests for her birthday had been a jumping party with dinosaurs and strawberry cake. Oh well. On a whim, I stopped by Wal-mart that was like a birthday fairy godmother. They had not only strawberry cake but a dinosaur theme vanilla cake as well. I got both. Ruby actually picked the vanilla cake to eat so maybe dinosaurs trump strawberry flavoring.

Here are some other highlight pictures.

On her real birthday Monday she had a party at daycare and her favorite gift (sorry Aunt Leslie) was a wooden train set we got her.

Christmas in May

2010-05-25T18:11:00.000-07:00

May is a second December for us. We have 6 birthdays in May for family and several more for friends. Of course, some of us don't need to have a birthday to get presents. I told my mom and dad that Ruby wanted a Belle nightgown to round out her Disney collection for her birthday. Lo and behold a package shows up saying to open immediately and Ruby squeals in happiness for her new nightgown. She then, in true fashinista style, pairs it with lizard rain boots and demands a walk around the neighborhood. Oh well, what good is being a grandparent if you can't spoil them? Jamey got a 12 string guitar for his birthday and I got a laptop. Of course, I'm just now realizing I am on the old crappy laptop while writing this post, because I forgot about my new snazzy one. Old habits are hard to break.

Mother's Day + Air Show = Awesome

2010-05-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

We went to the Blue Angels airshow this weekend. It was very cool. Ruby and Allison's favorite part was getting to ride a real live school bus from the parking to the field. It's true that you look at things differently when you are with two year olds.

Ruby was scared of the noise and I tried to calmly explain the reason for it. I then covered her ears and let her lay beside me. After the show Ruby said "I was scared, but you helped me Mama." I said "Oh, did the explanation of where the noise comes from help?" She looked at me like I was crazy and said "No, you hid me from the airplanes." Oh well. Logic can come later. We will definitely be going back next year!

Ruby celebrated Mother's Day by helping Daddy choose some new Koi for the pond. Allison and Ruby then had a good time letting the fish give them a pedicure.

Take that Y Chromosomes!

2010-05-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

It's official. The boys are now outnumbered. Baby Taylor is a girl!

Beach Trip 2010

2010-04-24T17:34:00.000-07:00

We got a much needed beach trip to Fort Morgan! I had not been there, but it has a lot to recommend it and only one thing against it. Let's see

Pros
Beautiful white sand beaches with no one else on them
Crystal clear water with lots of sea shells
You can bring your dog

Cons
No See Ems

Papa and Grandma joined us along with Uncle David, Aunt Karen and Allison. Ruby and Allison shared a room for the first time which went pretty well.

I was startled to see all the drilling platforms in the water. Prior to now, I had only been to Florida beaches and not seen that. At first I didn't like it, but my brother pointed out it had its own strange beauty when they would light up a night. While we were there, a similar rig to those we were looking at in Louisiana had an explosion launching what is set to be the worst oil spill in the US. Sigh.

Each day Ruby had a "favorite" thing about the beach. They were typically sand or waves. We got her a life vest/swimsuit and her and Daddy went to the sandbar.

We went to Dauphin Island one day and that was an adventure. The ferry ride was quite long and by the time we got there, Ruby was saying "snack" over and over in increasing volume. When we got to Dauphin Island, we stopped at the first gas station and asked for directions to the nearest restaurant. The local suggested Flamingo Fae's and said there would be signs and we "couldn't miss it". We headed off looking for the signs and kept driving until 15 minutes later we ran out of land and were at the other side of the island. This would not be so bad if it wasn't for Ruby yelling "Snack!" every 30 seconds (we got brief respites by giving her lemon drops from my purse). Prior to now, I had really only had similar experiences with my friend Dawn. This was clearly becoming a food emergency. As we headed back, one of us spotted an 8x10 sign with probably size 40 font by the side of the road discretely mentioning that Flamingo Fae's was to the right. We swung around and turned onto the street. We persevered until we hit another end of the island were an unlabeled building sat. Without much hope, we walked up to the door that said "Flamingo Fae's" in a handwritten note on the door. Wondering what kind of restaurant you could miss in Dauphin Island, we headed in, 2 year old yelling "Snack!" in tow. We acquired some emergency pancakes that came out first and winded up being the best pancakes I think I've ever had. I wish I had counted how many pancakes Ruby ate, but I am guessing at least 8. It was enough that the chef came out to see the girl eat her weight in pancakes. While everyone else ate, I took Ruby to the beach were we saw lots of hermit crabs. Prior to now, I had only seen those in pet stores. The interesting part of all this is that we didn't take the ferry to see Dauphin Island. We were in fact passing through on the way to Bellingrath Garden's which was beautiful as promised. Ruby walked off her pancakes and we ogled the plant life.

Great trip and I would recommend for sure for a peaceful beach vacation.

Anatomy Lesson

2010-04-06T17:52:00.000-07:00

Ruby and I were playing with her stethoscope and I mentioned we could hear the heartbeat with it. Ruby said "I know where the heart is." Impressed, I said "Really, where?" She responded "My heart is in my throat!" Does one of your teachers say that at school. "Yes." Does she say it when she is scared? "Yes."

BTW, the picture is from wacky tacky day at school which doubles as 80's costume.

The End of an Era

2010-03-15T19:33:00.000-07:00

Loki died Saterday. He was at home and it was painless which is the most you can ask for. 14 years of a dog's life was fantastic for him. I'm sure I will never have another dog as smart as Loki. Despite not leaving to the cry of the Valkeries, I have no doubt that, if there is a doggie heaven, it includes some geese being chased with great enthusiasm.

Eat It!

2010-02-23T18:04:00.000-08:00

This morning I went to the bathroom telling Ruby I would be back in a minute. Ruby rushed into the bathroom as soon as I was done yelling "Mommy, I got you a treat for going potty!"

"Eat it! Eat it!"
Not wanting to ingest some lifesaver she found underneath a couch I said "Where did you get it?"

Ruby said "The bag." I stared at it dubiously and put it in my mouth. Ruby then kindly announced "Well, I did drop it on the floor."

Santa's Valentine Agenda

2010-02-17T17:43:00.001-08:00

Ruby put facts together and informed me of how Valentine's day works.

"Santa brings everybody heart shaped chocolates and flowers"

In spite of the lack of appearance from Father Christmas, I don't think she was disappointed...

Here are some shots of making heart shaped cookies with Grandma, Aunt Karen and Allison

Ruby's First Ballad

2010-01-26T15:50:00.000-08:00

More often than not, I find myself singing random kids songs to keep Ruby entertained usually as I am trying to get her to do something. If she has time to think, she will say "No Way!" to any request. But I have found starting a song then casually putting on her shoes and socks to work. As I was singing, I noticed her lower lip start to quiver and tears begin to stream down her face. Apparently, I had never sang this song to her

On top of spaghetti
All covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball
when somebody sneezed

It rolled off of the table
and onto the floor
then my poor meatball
rolled right out the door

Despite her great empathy for the meatball (or the child who lost it), Ruby wanted to hear the song over and over, crying each time. I guess there is something in human nature that likes to be sad occasionally. That's why I married Jamey.

Coffee Angel

2010-01-24T08:36:00.000-08:00

My niece Allison is a big bag of tricks. When you ask her What a zombie says, she says "brains", when you ask her old she is, she holds up the right number of fingers. These are great ways for her to integrate herself in social situations. However, Jamey and I have focused on training Ruby in the more important things in life. The numero uno most important thing is to make Mommy's drinks. Ruby, once set on the counter, excels in making the coffee from grinding the beans, to putting the filter in. Recently she did this in an outfit that made me realize that Jamey and I have raised our own coffee angel.

Loki's Birthday

2010-01-19T18:44:00.002-08:00

(Loki circa 2010)

(Loki circa 1997)

We celebrated Loki's birthday this month. For a 14 year old dog he is doing pretty well with the following exceptions:
- breath like he ate 3 day old fish, and he ate it 3 minutes ago
- speaking of breathing, he sounds like a train, a fish train
- he finally is on enough pills that he has one of those days of the week pill dispensers
- he has large lumps all over his body and arthritis

Despite all this, the cool weather has brought out the puppy in Loki and he thinks nothing of running all over the neighborhood. When I left him at the vet for a checkup, the vet looked at the chart and asked the vet tech to bring in the "old" dog, not this crazy energetic creature.

Around Loki's 10th birthday, we decided he wouldn't live much longer. We gave him lobster and champagne. Each successive birthday has brought such a wealth of elaborate food, that we went more low key this time. For the first time, Ruby was savvy enough in birthdays to assist in the planning. She insisted no birthday party would be complete without balloons, hats and cupcakes. Finding no real argument to the contrary, I bring you... Loki's Birthday (observed)!

97 degrees in October, we must be at Disneyworld

2009-11-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

I attended PMI global this year. What better opportunity (it was in Orlando) to go to Disney World? Ruby, Jamey and Grandma and Papa joined us. For once, the timeshare pays off. The Wyndham was very nice and located near the parks. The big surprise to me was that Ruby actually wanted to meet the characters and didn't mind standing in line to do it. If I ever find the person who made the indoor greeting for the princesses, I will get down on my knees and thank them. I can't imagine going in Summer when the temperature is the same and the crowd is about 30 times bigger. How will I get my Its a Small World after all boat break? Ruby enjoyed everything we did (with the exception of some fireworks at Epcot). Jamey, Grandma and I got to partake of the Epcot wine festival woo hoo! By far, the biggest advice I have for those going anytime soon is to download the iPhone app for the park maps. Very helpful and they helped Jamey with having a valid excuse to look at his iPhone to feed his addiction. I also made a picture book of the experience using Picaboo. Turned out great. I guess I have to quit insisting every picture have someone we know in it. Jamey's shots of the Animal Kingdom rides made great backgrounds.

A toddler is never too young to learn an old dogs tricks

2009-11-09T09:33:00.000-08:00

Loki gets food just for wearing a napkin on his head? I'm in!

Trick or Treat!

2009-11-02T16:11:00.001-08:00

Ruby had an awesome Halloween. Despite a long commitment to a Spider Witch costume Grandma got her, she switched to a Cinderella nightgown right before we headed out. This year, Ruby had every idea of the mission and despite cold weather insisted going out twice to get more candy! I think Jamey still has nightmares of her in that bib.

Jamey and Evan dressed up the courtyard and we had a pretty rockin party for ourselves and the very few neighbors that actually trick or treated at our house. (Maybe it was the scary adults in not so scary costumes that made people move on to the next house)

A day that will live in infamy

2009-08-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

Ruby has had lots of advancements this month. She learned to tell Daddy that his bottom is big, that mommy needs a big swimsuit and that she prefers "chasing the law" to "following the law". However, no advancement has been as big as toilet training. Ruby moved up to a new class a daycare and it became apparent that she was not that into the entire spend half your day on the potty and you will figure it out method. A coworker told me about a book, Toilet Training in Less than a Day, that she had great success with. I read the book and it seemed reasonable, so I took a Friday off and we settled in to see how it would go. The basic premise is that you work in several training methods at one time. First, you have the child teach a doll how to use the potty. Then, you explain how much their "heroes" do not like wet pants when they have an accident. Then you practice practice practice by loading them up with salty foods and lots to drink. The doll training went pretty well. However, when Ruby had her first accident, I was supposed to list 10 people who don't like wet pants. After person number two (Barney) she was so upset that I didn't have the heart to finish out the list. By the end of the day we were both exhausted and I had decided that I must have done something wrong. However, the next morning, Ruby woke up wanting dry pants and went to the potty on her own all day. A week out from that she is still doing well and I suppose we can call her potty trained for all intents and purposes. There are still accidents occasionally but overall it was worth it for both of us! I shudder to think of the poor mom's who are trying to do this in a carpeted house.

I like. Therefore, I am

2009-07-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

Ruby serenaded me with a list of things she likes as she went to bed tonight. I will relay the conversation as close to as it actually happened as my memory will allow. My responses to her will be in italics.

I like rainclouds
Me too. Rainclouds are nice.
I like raincloud.
Mmmmm hmmm...
I like Picasso
I like Loki
I like Loki's medicine
Mommy's eyes are brown?
No, they are green. Daddy's are brown (hint hint you can say you like mommy and daddy)
Jordan's eyes brown?
Yes
Alyssa's eyes brown?
Yes
I like babies.
I really like babies.
I like daddies.
Evan's eyes brown?
Yes
I like Evan's house.
I like Chrissy.
I like cats.
I like cats.
I like cats.
I like cats.
I like Chrissy.
I like stars.
I like Papa and Grandma's house.

That was the end. I noticed one immediate family member missing. However, it was an interesting snapshot into how Ruby rounded up her thoughts for the day.

What happens if your birthdays peak at 2?

2009-06-14T19:33:00.000-07:00

Ruby had the best day today on her second birthday. Grandma and Papa were her to great her in the morning and give her a Mrs. Potato Head doll. Apparently, the potato head body is no longer sufficient for storage of all potato head's wordly possessions. Therefore, she comes with a carrying case for her overzealous wardrobe. After that, we headed to our traditional Sunday morning hangouts, a bakery and the zoo with some friends! Ruby has developed a fascination for butterflies so we decided to theme the day around them.

Mommy and Daddy actually got in a picture together!

Then a thunderstorm drove us home to a conveniently themed rain present from Grandma.

Papa thinks it is never to early to teach girls about tools and fixing trucks.

After all that, who wouldn't want to lie on the floor and watch the rain fall with her grandma?

After all those presents, it was time to go over to a friend's house and do some home improvement. Ruby enjoyed her imitation of Jacob Marley using chains and electrical cable as much as her other presents.

A butterfly cake courtesy of her cooking mama and cooking grandma was delicious. Its jaunty pirate eye is a result of Ruby's over enthusiasm to eat the gumdrop eyes.

One of the presents I was excited about was a stuffed turtle that projects stars on the ceiling of her room. I'll see if I can get a good picture of it sometime. Ruby, Jamey and I took a nice lie down in her room as she went to sleep and watched her starry ceiling.

HGTV Taylor Style

2009-06-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the two month lag, but its time for some home improvement pictures! I wish I had before shots of the kitchen but let me set the stage since I do not. Our kitchen had nice double ovens and a stove top when we moved in but overall I would give it a low grade. The tile on the floor was also used for the back splash was also used for the counter top. The tile was a pedestrian light beige color and the cabinets white. Everything smeared together with no real contrast or style. Plus grout was horrible to clean for the counter tops.

Observe our changes!

We picked a granite that is predominately black with iridescent blue highlights.

Back splash is tumbled marble in a brick pattern with glazed ceramic tile highlights that pick up the stainless steel in the over really well.

Voila!

Allison becomes a real human

2009-04-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

Loyal fans, I beg you to forgive the long interruption. I was foiled by a burst pipe in our living room that turned into three weeks out of our home. There's lots of excitement on the home front and I wish I had the "all done" pictures to show you but the truth is that nothing is completely finished yet and we are still living upstairs in our house instead of on the main level. However, as soon as things actually start to get done I will post before and after pics. Right now, we are living in the joys of keeping two dogs off the floors for 30 days. Still, during this finishing up time, let me catch you up on old events...

Somewhere around Ruby turning 10 months old, Jamey looked at her and said "It's like she's a real human now." While arguably human before that, I can kind of see his point as Allison hit her one year birthday. She now acts like a toddler and not a baby.

She and Grandma interact...

She and Ruby interact...

She and Picasso Interact...

Welcome to Homo Sapiens Allison! Happy Birthday!

Who you gonna call?

2009-02-17T17:54:00.000-08:00

As Ruby starts to speak, she's tossing around a ton of new words. While getting ready for work earlier this week, Ruby started talking earnestly into my phone. When I asked who she was talking to, she looked at me seriously and said "Satan." I asked again and got the same answer. I would love to know what she was actually trying to say, but I settled for "Well, don't promise him anything."

Thanks Mom!

2009-02-05T18:09:00.000-08:00

One good blog deserves another. I've started a blog for the PMI Alabama Symposium which is a two day training event for project managers here in Birmingham. I accidentally posted this to my personal blog. I decided to keep it since it is family related after all. Plus, some of you are into project management as part of your jobs. Check out the full Alabama Symposium blog.

I’m sure most mothers and daughters talk about shopping, grandchildren and food. My mom and I like to add one more thing to that traditional topic list. We talk about managing projects. We talk about managing BIG projects. Coming from a family of rocket scientists is a chore. They always have that snappy comeback of “Why, yes. I am a rocket scientist.” Plus it’s weird when your parent has their own Wikipedia entry. However, as an adult, I shamelessly tap my mother for help when I am facing a project difficulty. Her experience with NASA projects from Apollo to Constellation provide some awesome insight into overcoming challenges. She has this great Risk Management chart that I’ve used on several projects with success once I saw it in one of her proposals. Not only that, I’ve taken things she has learned and successfully applied it to much smaller, less critical projects. Read the synopsis below and I know you will find her one of the most useful speakers you’ve heard. Register today to hear her speak on March 10th at PMI (Project Management Institute's) Alabama Symposium!

Synopsis: A brief history of the NASA program to go to the moon the first time with their challenges and lessons. Evolution through the development of the Space Shuttle and International Space Station; How the NASA culture and ways of doing PM have changed since Apollo. The development of a standard PM approach and process, including Risk Management. The Challenger and Columbia accidents and PM related root causes. The Constellation Program and human's return to the moon and beyond. What makes projects successful and what PMs leave behind as their legacy.

Send in the Dogs

2009-02-02T18:40:00.000-08:00

Allison, Ruby, David and I got to experience our first circus Sunday. I enjoyed it although I was a bit surprised there was no tightrope walker. I thought there was some kind of circus rule that would force you to have a tightrope walker in order to be a certified circus. Ruby and Allison did not feel anything was missing. They have very different personalities. Ruby retreated into some kind of toddler trance and watched everything with her mouth hanging open and no sound. Allison on the other hand, jumped up and down screaming with glee over the dogs doing tricks. Other people in our section started watching Allison because it was like hearing a teenager meet one of the Beatles in the 1960s. Perhaps she is a "Woo" girl. Towards the end Ruby was clapping along and making hand signs for "more". I guarantee she did not want more clowns. No one wanted more clowns.

Inaugeraltinis

2009-01-21T18:23:00.000-08:00

On the kind of epic day we had in history yesterday, Karen and I felt inspired to create an inauguraltini (also may double as our new 4th July Tini and Bastilledaytini etc)

Red and White sugar rim, blueberry vodka and champagne (you can splash blueberry juice in too) drop in some blueberries....presto patriotism!

I also made some Mulligatawny stew. Nothing like good old fashioned British imperialism food to usher in a new president!

1 large onion chopped
1 tablespoon fresh ginger chopped
2 cloves garlic chopped
(saute together)
add 3 tablespoon curry (Sweet Curry from Penzey's recommended)
1/2 tsp black pepper
(saute a bit)
add 2 15 oz can diced tomatoes
2 large peeled apples chopped
1 large sweet potato 1 inch chunks
4 large carrots chopped
2 celery sticks chopped
6-8 cans chicken broth
4 sliced chicken breasts
(simmer till yummy anywhere from 15 min to 1 hour)

Note on inauguration ceremony: Jamey pointed out that the classical music selection reminded him of walking the fields in Oblivion. I had to agree. Also, I don't recommend taking a drink every time Obama says "we".

Hockey vs. Hawks

2009-01-14T18:19:00.000-08:00

I get this e-mail at work from Jamey (who is working at home)

Lucky for the fish...
1) I was home today
2) Hawks are really loud when they hunt
3) Predators are scared of Canadian hockey players

Viva Las Vegas Via Lakehouse

2009-01-07T17:40:00.000-08:00

My mom through the best New Year's to date this year. She hired a company that brought casino tables and dealers. It was great to learn Craps without the pressure of losing money. Plus, all the kids at the party loved the slot machine. It's never too early to learn to gamble.

Christmas is Going to the Dogs

2008-12-29T18:51:00.000-08:00

We had an awesome Christmas this year. We got to stay home AND have my mom and dad there and see Jamey's family. While I'm sure it won't happen often, it sure was great getting to see everyone so easily. Santa was very generous and Ruby got a kitchen, tricycle and table. She loved it all. Each morning she makes us our "coffee" and handed out cups around the room. The kitchen has a nice grill with sizzling sounds. If real food sounded like that when being cooked I might worry a bit. It sounds like the ending of Dad's Mexican Train Dominoes set.

My big gift was a Kindle (electronic book reader). Its making me rethink my library. If books are going to be electronic, perhaps I don't need quite so many shelves in my library plan. With all the space savings, now visions of baby grand pianos dance in my head. Jamey may not have come out ahead with that gift even with the books being 30% cheaper than the paper equivalents. How much does a baby grand piano cost I wonder?

Jamey got an Ion drum set which is probably awesome, but we have been too busy to try it out yet. My parents went overboard like they always do and we got many fabulous prizes. The Showcase Showdown has nothing on my parent's gifts.

The real winner in all the gift was two dog beds. Ruby and Loki couldn't get enough of them and both of them would follow the dog beds from room to room in order to play/sleep in them. I think Loki set some kind of record for the most naps in one day.

Not the Mama

2008-12-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

Mama?

No. That's not mama, but you are sweet.

Mama?

No. That's not mama, its a little girl.

Mama?

No! Mama is not Cruella De Ville!

Golf, shopping and food. It must be Thanksgiving!

2008-12-02T19:19:00.000-08:00

Ruby, Jamey and I accompanied my mom and dad to Tennessee for Thanksgiving. Although the accommodations were sub par, the company was great and we enjoyed some rather cold mini golf and a Thanksgiving brunch at the resort.

Ruby was very thankful for unlimited food and came up with this great new face to express her appreciation.

Of course, Ruby takes after her daddy and has a hard time leaving work at home.

The problem with my parent's timeshare is that they have too nice of a house...on the water...why would you ever leave? We went back to their house on Friday. Mom and I did our Iron Bowl shopping (the malls are empty during the game). My Dad and Jamey decided to stay at the house, watch the game and work (respectively). Unfortunately, Charter hates them and the cable was out for the entire street. I was impressed at the bravery of the guy attempting to fix the issue. Cable out... Iron Bowl game... hand me the Kevlar.

The Gunn Show

2008-11-09T18:58:00.000-08:00

Had a fun weekend. We went to Belk's on Sat and got to meet Tim Gunn. For those of you who aren't familiar, Tim G is an advisor and overall celebrity for Project Runway. He is also the host of his own show and author of a book (and apparently from my gift bag, a day calendar for 2009). The best thing on his resume I believe is his current title at Liz Claiborne, Chief Creative Officer. I think I'm totally going to shoot for that at my job.

Coworker: Why is your keyboard upside down?
Me: I'm being creative! I'm on my way to CCO! You know, Chief Creative Officer!
Coworker: In that case, would it be creative for you to throw away those 3 week old coffee cups that are growing toxic mold?

The fashion show was fun and Tim was very nice when we talked to him for our picture. His cohort (I'm assuming a Liz Claiborne representative) was asking me for feedback about my Liz Claiborne shopping experience. I asked for them to add extra fabric in the jacket sleeves so that they can be let out more for those like me who have long arms. Tim's response was to "tjuzs it" which basically means do something so crazy with your clothing that no one will notice that your sleeves are too short. This seemed somewhat odd advice to me. After the fashion show, there had been a Q&A session where a woman had asked about how petite women should dress. Tim answered that petite women are the most forgotten about body type in fashion and need lines designed just for them. Now wait a minute. I know for a fact I have NEVER seen a Tall section in a department store but there is ALWAYS a petite section. Why weren't they told to "tjuzs" it?

I think its pure discrimination. When a short woman or full figured woman complains she cannot find clothes or has to get them altered people are sympathetic (with the exception of me, of course). When tall skinny women complain they can't find clothes, people glare at them. I don't mind that your fit model is 5' 7". I understand I am freakishly tall with gorilla like long arms that drag the ground. It's safe to say over half your buyers will need shorter sleeves and get it altered. Just leave some extra material in there for the % of us to have let out. Until then, I will "tjuzs" it.

Coworker: Why do you have your sleeve rolled up with a candy bar tucked into it?
Me: I am tjuzsing!
Coworker: I think you have that CCO thing in the bag. Have you tried our Employee Assistance program?

Halloween Get Together

2008-11-01T18:35:00.000-07:00

We haven't hosted a Halloween party since 2002. Usually we go to Boo at the B&A warehouse which I highly recommend. With Boo falling on actual Halloween, babysitters are tough to find. Jamey consented to have us throw a Halloween "Cocktails in the Creepy Courtyard."

The evening began with some good family fun in the form of taking Allison and Ruby trick or treating. Without meaning to my brother and sister-in-law and I choose similar themes.

Jamey and Evan hung out in their awesomely decorated courtyard complete with fog machine(to my shame I did not get a picture of it, but if you were a kid in our neighborhood you had the most awesome trick or treating experience ever!)

We served caramel apple martinis wtih a slice of apple and gummy worm to complete the look while Ruby enjoyed her first night of candy.

A few friends came over and I was impressed with their creative costumes.
Rorschach of Watchmen

Robin Sparkles and Barney

Jack and Jill

1950's Dad and girl from Juno

Monopoly Money Man

We ended the evening with Jamey giving a whole new meaning to the term Napoleon Dynamite.

Picasso Makes it Work

2008-10-27T17:25:00.000-07:00

Project Runway had its finale this month. Several friends have banded together in our strange obsession with the show. Someone cooks dinner, someone cooks dessert and we sit around and eat as we watch skinny models. We even pick ponies who we think are going to win (Atlee won this time - see picture for his winnings). I know my fascination with the show is the pure creative and constructive talent it features. Not only do you have to be able to design a look, you have to sew it in a day or two. My sewing skills are legendary (and I don't mean the good kind) and I struggle to understand how people actually sew something well enough to wear it to an event other than a Halloween party. For the past two years, I have pushed myself by sewing Halloween costumes for myself in the hopes of improving. This year I see 4 days to go and no "make it worked"idness within me. I suppose I will throw together some last ditch effort. Luckily, with my obsession with Halloween, I have quite the history of costumes to choose from. T. Gunn is in the Belk's house here in Bham on November 8. Maybe we can entertain ourselves between seasons by stalking him.

Ginger Snaps Back

2008-10-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

Although this happened in August, I'm just now getting around to posting about this. It's my blog, I can do what I want. And I definitely want to let you guys know the best new ingredient in your kitchen. Ginger Snaps! Our last Supper Club was hosted at my place and we used our awesome screened in porch as a Dining Room (honestly that is the case 90% of the time). The theme was Ginger Snaps Back. Although I had Ginger Snaps as a theme ingredient in mind, some people read it as ginger and that was perfectly acceptable. Atlee and Amanda made some ginger ale that makes Buffalo rock seem meek. In their typical brilliant fashion, they compensated by pouring in coconut rum. yummmmm. Yvonne whipped together shrimp coated in ginger snaps for an appetizer.Bill and Dawn made a ginger onion tart as a side dish which insured we would not have anything green contaminating our plate. As for me, I took some advice from Pat Zurasky and tried the Saubraten. This involved filling the house with the smell of vinegar for two days as the meat marinated then adding crushed gingersnaps to the crockpot after hours of cooking for a gravy. The result was good but it will be a year or two before I got through all that again. Of course, the best part of the evening was dining in our awesome screened in deck. It was the main reason we bought the house and can i say "Worth it!"? I would be remiss if I didn't point out the amazing dessert. Are you guys ready for your mind to be blown? What is better than banana pudding? "Nothing!" you exclaim. What if...just what if...it had ginger snaps instead of vanilla wafers? HEAVEN!

Next Stop - Olympics!

2008-10-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

I've noticed in many Olympic events, there is always great discussion on how young the athlete was when they began a sport. In that case, Auntie Karen has organized it so that Allison and Ruby will be gold medal swimmers by signing them up for an infant swim class. I've thought long and hard about the best sports to get your child into. Ideally, you want a sport that doesn't require a ridiculous time commitment, lots of travel, painful watching on the part of the parents or too much special equipment. Judging by my coworkers, baseball and soccer are vey demanding. Swimming is fine... until a swim meet. I remember three things about being on a swim team as a child. The pool is ridiculously cold early in the morning, the swim meets are painfully long and Cricket and Kelly Zurasky were the only thing making it fun. They did this by having cool games like grease the watermelon and throw it in the pool and make all the kids get it.

It was with some trepidation that I threw some swim diapers on Ruby and proceeded to Gold's gym for the lesson. After stripping down to a bikini (hey, a girl has to have show some benefit from throwing up for nine months) I took Ruby into the pool where we say her auntie and Allison. My mom served as the personal Paparazzi. The teacher had us all sit on the side of the pool with the infants. We sang a song to some generic tune I don't know the real some for. It basically went "This is the way we wash our feet, wash our feet, wash our feet....etc etc" Once the kids have had water thrown on them we ease into the pool and begin their lesson. Kicking is followed by reaching out for a toy. I start to see how this will actually turn into swimming. All the children covet Allison's toy which is a Hip hop a pottumus instead of the standard duck or ball.

By the end, the kids are exhausted and the parents had a good workout too. I'm looking forward to the rest of the lessons even though the instructor frowned when I threw a greased watermelon into the pool...

Naked

2008-09-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

"I just sent a picture of myself with no clothes on over the Internet." After deciding that the sentence I had just heard was new at the top of my list of Things You Never Want to Hear Your Mother-in-law Say, I struggled to find the appropriate response. Surprisingly to me, the first words out my mouth was "To who?"

The story that unfolded could only be found in the land of Juju. Jamey's mother was showering when she heard my phone (still confiscated after several months) ringing. Completely ignoring her previous lesson of not getting my phone wet, she leaped from the shower to answer it. Right here is one big difference between my mother-in-law and myself. I cannot imagine what possible phone call she might be receiving that is so important a shower cannot wait. Regardless, she missed the call and frantically tried to find out who it had been.

Cell phone use it not my mother-in-law's forte. Whatever hurdles she faces with new technology are exceeded by her lack of eyesight and hearing. As she punched buttons randomly she heard the sound of a camera clicking and then saw that the phone was saying "Sent". Now is probably a good time to mention that Juju thinks that the cell phones use the "Internet".

With story fully explained, I reassured her she would have only taken a picture of the floor since she was looking at the keypad. I then checked the pictures just to be sure and there was nothing there.

Juju has moved out of our house now and I find myself with time to Blog again. Sorry for the August blackout. No picture this post, but would you really want one?

Old Dog, New Trick

2008-07-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

Now that Loki is 12, he's starting to show his age a bit more. Recently, it has surfaced in a complete intolerance for hot weather. This being Alabama, that's not working out so well for him. We tend to walk every night after dinner. Loki cannot even back it back home before he starts wheezing and his tongue turns purple. Jamey developed a patented method for dealing with this problem that involved carrying the 50 pound dog and pushing the 22 pound baby in a stroller. When this happened on our walk last week, I developed a new method.

Although Loki enjoyed the stroller, the problem was not fully solved. We still had to carry the 22 pound baby. Plus, I worried that one of our neighbors would wreck as they drove by and stared at the charming picture Loki made in a baby stroller. I can imagine the associated conversation.

Gladys: Abner! Abner! I saw that crazy couple again today and THIS time they had the dog in the baby stroller and the baby had to walk.

Our solution certainly improves the walk for Jamey and I and Loki. Unfortunately, Loki "Ancient Mariner"TM horror breath knocks Ruby out.

I scream, you scream

2008-07-11T05:20:00.000-07:00

Jamey and a tendency stick to a routine unless deflected from it by me for one reason or another (Jamey, it's Saturday, don't go to work.) Since his mom moved in with us I've learned he comes by this trait very honestly.

One new routine he's adopted from his mother since she moved in is partaking of large amounts of vanilla ice cream every night. This 1000 calories or so must be ingested while exclaiming how absolutely delicious it is with every bite. (Jamey's mom does the exclaiming, Jamey just nods).

My polite refusals to join in are met with stunned "Are you sick?" questions. While I am, indeed, sick this week I will have to come up with a new excuse next week. Of course I could tell them the truth.

"Juju, Jamey I have something to tell you. Normal human beings cannot consume vast quantities of ice cream on a daily basis. You guys are freaks of nature and I sincerely hope Ruby inherited your ability to pour food into a leg for safekeeping where it will work its way into the air and disappear leaving you thin and healthy. If I were to partake with you, I would quickly find myself shopping for a new wardrobe and on cholesterol lowering meds."

Juju Time!

2008-07-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

Jamey's mom moved in with us while she builds her house. I'm looking forward to lots of stories. While she is one of the sweetest people I know, she's highly entertaining. She's only been with us a bit, but I have story #1.

We don't have a landline so I left her my cell phone to use. She decided it was dirty and ran it under the faucet. I have a new cell phone now.

Happy Birthday Ruby!

2008-06-20T14:36:00.000-07:00

On June 14th, we embarked on what must be surely in the top birthdays ever. I double dog dare you to fit in as much your next birthday.

Room service breakfast

A game of pool...

A quick ping pong match

Splashing at sea world

Face to face baby shamu time

And to top it all off, a cupcake at sunset.

All good things come to an end

2008-06-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

All vacations have the sweetest beginnings, but all good things must come to an end. We had our first big family vacation to Orlando last week. My mom and dad joined us and we even got to visit with Ruby's great Granddad.

We found one simple truth, a one year old is not hard to entertain. Therefore, a big trip to Orlando and a sprinkler in the backyard are probaby equal. Regardless we had a good time.

Jamey entertained Ruby at the hotel pool and, strangely, fitness center while I went to my conference.

After my conference, we headed to Downtown Disney and the Rainforest Cafe.

Ruby highly enjoyed the fountains in Downtown Disney. She ran through them happily and clapped when we were finished to show her appreciation.

Next post... Ruby's birthday which includes more activities than you might guess.

Don't they kill cattle for this?

2008-06-03T20:45:00.001-07:00

My house has been infected with Hand Foot and Mouth disease (which is really just a virus). Ruby brought it home from daycare where it has manifested itself as sores all over her mouth, feet, legs, hands, bottom...well everywhere. This was a good way for us to discover something very few people (and maybe parents?) know. Apparently, I either have a super immune system (doubtful) or I have had this as a child. I'll have to ask my mom. We also learned that jamey apparently never had this as a child. for him, there are no bumps, but a high fever headache muscle ache and nausea. I look forward to work days right now. It's the only time I get to rest!

MMMMMMMMMOOORRRRRRRDDDDDDDDUUUCKKKS

2008-05-27T18:12:00.001-07:00

Recently, I let Ruby type into notepad for her first foray into the wonderful world of computers and the wonderful world of creative writing. Here was her input.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV????rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrXXXXXXX

First of all, I was highly impressed by her ability to move between upper and lowercase. Truly, this was not a skill I expected until at least 13 months. However, the more I looked at her first message, the more disturbed I was. Clearly this is all a cry for help. Jamey and I decided early on to limit TV exposure to well, none actually, for the first year or two. For the most part we've succeeded but we have exceptions for babysitters, nailcutting time, those sorts of things. It's actually been really easy becuase we rarely watch TV. Ruby is demanding to know why we have left TV out of her life.

The second request surely relates to us being slow in getting her antibiotic ear drops. What a fascinating line of communication. I decided to try it again.

jkjdfhsdkjgdj

Clearly, Ruby hates vowels. wll hve 2 wrk n tht.

May Updates

2008-05-19T19:16:00.000-07:00

Not posting very often is a very bad thing. As time goes on, the pressure to produce a post worthy of the long wait grows and grows until J.K. Rowling would have a hard time. Sometimes there is nothing to do for it except accept that there will be a relatively boring update post. So here we go....

Jamey had a smashing birthday back on May 2nd.

I had a somewhat stressful birthday. Jamey gifted me with three beautiful koi fish for our pond. He gave them to me by drawing a picture of three cartoon fish on a card. When I went out to the pond, I saw one sad lonely pretty fish being attacked by about 5 unattractive goldfish. I proceeded to grab a skimmer and attempt to beat the mean fish off the new fish as I yelled at them. Jamey watched me for a bit, sighed and pointed out gently that you cannot train fish. About 15 minutes later I gave up and headed to work. Once I got home, all three new fish were present and swimming happily with their goldfish brethren. I came to the inescapable conclusion that I had trained the fish and am now ready for a National Geographic special, "The Fish Yeller"

For Mother's Day, I grabbed my mom, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, her mother and grandmother and a good friend and we all went to Sips and Strokes. We preceded to make a "Crackled cross" which was fun to do. I have no idea what I will do with my new found crackling ability, but I'm sure it will come in handy.

This Memorial Day weekend, we deemed it "Craft weekend" and got lots of home projects done. Highlights include freshly painted cabinets with overpriced adorable hardware from Anthropologie and a new ceiling fan for Ruby.

Ruby is terrorizing the dogs by mowing them over with a lawnmower shaped object that doesn't actually accomplish anything. How hard could it have possibly been to make it a sweeper? It's never too early to earn that allowance Ruby! Ruby also took her first steps May 17th at our big family birthday party.

When Ruby isn't walking she's climbing....absolutely anything she can climb.

Shew! That's alot of updates. Hopefully, this won't have to hold you over till next month.

The Fountain of Youth Exists at Target

2008-04-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

For about 330 days a year, my bedtime routine is pretty simple. Brush teeth, go to bed. For the other thirty odd days usually near my birthday, I attempt to reinvent my routine in the hopes of finding a fountain of youth and establishing the new "with it" me that can think to long term results instead of the shortest critical path to sleep. Usually this burst involves overly expensive lotion and a commitment to do 50 sit ups a night or some other equally seemingly achievable, yet soon to be forgotten, exercise component.

I began my most recent attempt last few weeks or so. This time, I am convinced that exfoliation is the key to younger looking skin. I came to this conclusion from some sound bite interview where a supermodel noted that men look younger than women because they shave. What can I say? I like to grab random pointers and see where they take me. I purchased a skin "rejuvinator". Basically, this thing scrapes off the top layer of skin. Imagine a washcloth on a portable sander. While it sounds painful, it feels pretty good actually. In fact, although it only calls for doing it three times a week, I find myself feeling as if my face is not clean those other days of the week. It's reminiscent of when I switched to Aquafresh Extreme Clean. No other toothpaste works in my mind now. Will this routine last? Decidedly not. Already I find myself skipping everything but tooth brushing before jumping into bed. Forehead wrinkles vs sleep? I think we all know the winner.

Look at the animals! please?

2008-04-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ruby and Allison undertook their first trip to the zoo recently. Karen, Jamey and I spent about half an hour getting everyone into the car and about an hour at the zoo. I wish I could say Ruby was fascinated by the animals. However, she had...um...issues. Issues like being interested in anything but the animals. Observe...

Mama: Look Ruby, a goat!
Ruby: There's some kids over there. Fascinating.

Mama: Look Ruby, a rat!
Ruby: Nice shoes lady.

Mama: Look Ruby, a gorilla!
Ruby: I'll show you a gorilla.

Ruby did, however, love the gift shop and chose a giraffe that she adores.

Checkout lady: How cute! She picked a giraffe. Did she see the giraffes today?
Mama: No.

As for Ruby's cousin... Allison was very interested...in a nap and maybe a snack and maybe one more nap. Still, I know this is the start of lots of fun trips to the zoo for the girls. Maybe one day they'll enjoy it more than we do.

Ruby Tubesday

2008-04-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

At Ruby's last doctor's appointment, we were prescribed the fourth round of antibiotics in two months and the doctor declared Ruby in need of an ENT. It was absolutely no surprise that the ENT recommended Ruby get tubes in her ears. Several coworkers enthused over the results their kids had with tubes and prepared me that the procedure would be quick and relatively painless for both Ruby and me. On the other side, I only had one negative story of tubes, but it was from the important source of Karen, my sister-in-law. Her tubes did not fall out when they should of and she feels certain she has some hearing damage from their removal. On the flip side another friend who didn't get tubes felt he had hearing damage from his ear drums rupturing from ear infections. Given this incredibly scientific method of asking random people, it was clear that tubes were the way to go. At least if Ruby complains in the future, I can blame a doctor instead of my own inaction.

Lucky for Jamey and me, Children's Hospital has an awesome satellite hospital very near us. Last Tuesday, we packed up the car at 5:30 AM and headed off to Ruby's first surgery (no baby book page for that, I checked). The hospital nurse led us to a small room where she checks Ruby's blood pressure (using her leg), oxygen level (using a sensor on her fingernail) and heart rate (by listening). I kept waiting for the finger prick or shot or something. I mean, I always have to have an IV for outpatient surgery. Apparently the IV is more trouble than it is worth for a kid. I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering if I can make the IV more trouble than its worth next time I have outpatient surgery now that I know its optional. While they took Ruby's stats, she was handed a stuffed bunny and another nurse blew bubbles for the kid next to us. They handed us a hopital gown and then told us we didn't really need it so of course we put it on her for a photo op.

After that we were led to Ruby's room. A nice private room with its own bathroom. I noticed a playroom across the hall and declared it potentially too germy for MY child. About 30 minutes and an empty bag of toys later, I gladly ate my words and took my hungry, restless baby across the hall for much needed distraction in the form of toys she had never seen before. Now is probably the time to share Jamey and I's view of toys. In general, we avoid the ones that make sounds and if they do, we tend to take the battery out. The playroom was chock full of a cacophony of toys guaranteed to drive a parent slowly mad. Ruby loved it. As we dodged a kid in a wagon and realized the hallways were lined with toy cars, wagons, trucks, etc. We popped Ruby down in a toy car and took off around the hospital. Although this feature has to be incredibly annoying for the nurses (they have to go around hunting the patient who's ready to go back for surgery), they hide it well and are quite adept at avoiding the moving obstacles. Maybe it makes work more exciting? Well, whoever thought of it was a genius. The atmosphere in the hospital is similar to an amusement park and the kids are having a blast.

At last, it is time for Ruby to head back to the surgery. Nurses take her from me at the door. Ruby files a token protest and goes along willingly once they distract her. I'm somewhat of a speed reader and I did not make it through even one chapter before the doctor was back in the room saying that her ears were filled with pus but everything went all right. I would guess 10-15 minutes had elapsed.

Ruby happily drank her apple juice and was sleepy for about 20 minutes. After that, she was the happiest I have seen her in months. Her balance is much better and she has chosen to use her new found powers to try and climb...everything. By the end of the day she was eating pasta and ready to take on the world.

So I'm thinking of a new business venture. A hospital that treats adults like kids. No needles unless absolutely necessary. Rock Band in the room next door. Laser tag sets for pre-op. Don't we adults deserve it? After all, we'll remember our surgery much more than the kids will!

Guernica

2008-03-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Three signs it's time for Picasso's haircut.

1)Even Ancient Mariner Breath Loki is offended by Picasso's smell.

2)You can't see his eyes without a clippy.

3)On anyone else, Picasso's hair would look like an 80s Hair Band member.

Well, here is his new cut. You can see his demon eyes just fine now.

Deliciouso!

2008-03-13T19:10:00.001-07:00

As we near Ruby's 9 month mark, I am continually amazed by her ability to find the most dangerous thing in the room in a ridiculously quick period of time and pick it up and put it in her mouth. Of course, its not enough for me to simply be amazed by it. I feel the need to quantify it and make sure its not just that remember the times she reaches for something that is not a toy, but is, in fact, capable of distinguishing a baby toy from objects of potential destruction.

Hypothesis: Given a choice between well crafted baby toys designed to stimulate her and a regular household item that is uninteresting but could cause harm, Ruby will choose the household item. Toys which have not been played with for at least 3 days will be used to guarantee maximum toy appeal.

Experiment 1: Stuffed Animal, Tape, Stuffed Animal

Result: Tape

Experiment 2: Block, Teething Ring, Batteries

Result: Batteries

Experiment 3: Stuffed Animal, Slobbery Dog Toy, Stuffed Animal

Result: Slobbery Dog Toy

Experiment 4: Book, Rubber Ducky, A&D
Result: This is Darwinism?

(no babies were harmed in this experiment. Howqever, Picasso was kindof sad when she had his dog)

A Good Day!

2008-03-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

Ruby met her cousin today and found her completely uninteresting. Still, it was a great visit and she was much too excited to sleep. After a long nap once she got home, Jamey took her to the park and let her swing which made her cackle with glee.

Tonight we ventured out for Mexican. Ruby loved the tamale and was so good we let her go to the bookstore afterwards and pick a prize.

She chose a Webkinz. For those of you not familiar, Webkinz let's you "adopt" your stuffed animal and care for it online. Although Ruby chose it for its softness and dog like shape, I was curious as to what fun she can have with her pet online. First of all, I was very impressed by the security lesson at the beginning. Your username should not be one that someone can guess and your password should have a number in it. After having gone through all that security, I can only think "Why?". Will someone log on and give my dog an apple? Horrors! Her pet "Baba" (she named him herself) now has a balloon, apple and chair. Weeee! Still, I guess I see the appeal. It is basically Sims for stuffed animals. All for $11.95! One day when Ruby feeds her dog marshmellows, I guess I'll know why.

Stock Tip

2008-02-28T18:04:00.000-08:00

It's a tricky market. Ruby Greenspan keeps a firm eye on what is going up in value or becoming yesterday's news. Let's look at the latest stock report.

As you can clearly see, after a slow start MAMA stock is going up in value. Finally the Ruby Industrial Average is recognizing the value of cuddling to the population. DADA stock, after a strong initial upswing, is unable to pace the MAMA. Both stocks lag behind Dog Toys Inc for obvious reasons.

For those of you invested in the RRTDAC, be on the lookout for a new public offering yesterday at 3:01 in Allison Guy Griner Industries (Symbol:AGGI). Ruby is predicting future high return results after an initial slow growth period.

Let them eat cake!

2008-02-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

I may have already mentioned this, but let me repeat myself in the name of clarity before I move on to the post. All the baby books tell you the importance of talking with your newborn. In the beginning you start with nursery rhymes or songs. Then you realize you don't know very many of them and start to work in more adult themes. After asking your newborn's view on what makes a great president and what makes a good husband (same things by the way fiscal responsibility and diplomacy), global economy, best movie ever etc.; you start to descend into babbling somewhere around the 6 week mark (also when you are about ready to go back to work and have a real conversation). I was deep into babbling territory when Jamey came home one day and listened to me tell Ruby that she was the Princess of Cakes. For some reason, that title stuck and has been tossed around quite frequently. Text Messages of "I have the cakes" obviously mean she has been picked up from daycare.

On to the post!

Last night, Ruby met one of her subjects for the first time. Day care is a nice introduction into "lots of time consuming things that the babies probably don't appreciate but you do it anyway in the name of being a good parent/teacher". Along those lines, they had a Valentines Day party today so I was busy last night experimenting with eggless cakes (children under 1 year should not eat eggs). I used a "Wacky Cake" recipe from Depression era times when people could not afford eggs. A combination of vinegar, baking soda and salt allow the cake to rise. I decided to experiment on Ruby to see if the cake would be well received. Observe the interaction between Princess and her loyal subject.

Cake: I have a property dispute I was hoping you could resolve great princess.
PoC: Yes, I'm listening.

Cake: Ahhhhhh!
PoC: Oh, I am so sorry! I have no idea what came over me!

PoC: Well, it appears I am not so sorry after all. Baliff! Bring in the next subject!

I Resolve to Not Resolve

2008-01-14T19:06:00.000-08:00

Well, the holidays are definitely over. Luckily for me, we plan on going on a vacation to recover. Next week it's off to Steamboat Springs for some skiing action. 5 days of no dogs and no baby. Choosing between sleeping and skiing will be tough! I hope for a fun new journal to post when I get back.

However, I would be remiss if I did not share some snapshots to cover the whiteout of the blog from the holidays. Allow me to catch you up.

Santa was very good to Ruby

Yvonne was very good to Ruby

Ruby is a gangsta in her new jacket from Grandma.

Loki is old and can fold his tongue like an accordion

Karen and David are now adequately prepared to have a baby.

Now that I can check that off the list, let's move on to an actual post. Karen and David showed me a book they have of New Year's resolutions from the past several years. Not only do they write them down, they have a ton of them! It makes me wonder why I have never made a New Year's resolution. Am I so afraid of failure that I can't even propose an idea for one? Even after racking my brain I still can't come up with any. Is keeping up status quo a New Year's resolution? It's taking about all I have to do that. How about refusing to stress over whether my house sells? That would probably benefit me the most but it bothers my requirement writing mind because I don't feel its verifiable and testable. Maybe that's the true problem I have with writing New Year's resolutions. I spend all day writing contracts for systems. Am I too tired from that to write a contract for myself? What would the review process be? I think I do need that vacation.

In other news, we watched the movie Sunshine this weekend to test out our new rockin' projector from xmas. Now, we haven't watched a movie in a long long time which maybe compounded the disappointment we felt in it. I don't think the first half of a movie has ever been so promising and then sink so low. I don't think any of the following is specific enough to be a spoiler, but don't read on if you are paranoid about that sort of thing. Before you go off and watch the movie, I suggest you stop it halfway through and go write your own ending. Then keep it that way and leave that hour of your life a positive experience.

**The following paragraph contains vague complaints about the movie Sunshine which you shouldn't watch anyway so just read on**
The first half made me so happy. There was even a discussion on risk management! Oh joyous day. I love sci fi, I love the idea that at the heart of physics, there is God. However, I cannot buy that at the heart of physics there is Satan and God. Also, I can't buy that someone would attack someone with a knife, then drop it in favor of a bolt tightner as a weapon. My mom, while quite possibly irritated by the large plot problems, only voiced complaints about the errors in spaceship design. I found that cute. I have to agree with her there were quite a few. Who put that vat of dangerously cold coolant for the "mainframe" in the floor for anyone to accidentally slip into? Griner trap!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

Well, we are off to the lake house for a fun Griner Christmas. I'll post again after the new year. Work is under control again for me so maybe I will even be clever!

10 years!

2007-12-22T06:15:00.000-08:00

Dec 6 was our ten year anniversary. Normally we go somewhere for our anniversary, but the final Regions merger event was that weekend so we settled for a nice dinner st Standard Bistro. How we celebrate is really unimportant to me. I'm just so thrilled and happy that I love Jamey even more now than I did 10 years ago. I highly suggest everyone marry their best friend. I wasn't ambitious enough to scan in a wedding photo, but here is a 5 year anniversary picture from us in 2002 (the first year we had a digital camera).

The Palace

2007-12-22T06:06:00.000-08:00

There's a reason I call my workplace the palace. At Christmastime they really go all out. They have the Alabama Symphony Orchestra play in the cafeteria one day. I often wonder if they built the cafeteria for that purpose because it sounds wonderful. I checked Ruby out from her company day care (see how much it rocks?) and took her to the show. In true baby style, you can never predict what a baby will like. She didn't mind the music, but she LOVED when everyone would clap at the end. She fell asleep before the end of the show which included a Christmas medley of sounds, my favorite of which was "Making Christmas" from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Next up was Breakfast with Santa. On Dec 8, they turned the building into the North Pole complete with fake snow. Ms Claus hung out in the cafeteria serving juice and muffins to kids. Meanwhile, the kids would go to the corporate conference center and wait for their picture with Santa. Ruby tried to eat his beard this year, but he was very gracious about it.

I also took this cute picture of her outside the building in front of a ridiculously large Christmas tree. She enjoyed pulling up the grass. Too bad kid. You don't have any grass in your backyard to play with!

LODO

2007-12-21T15:31:00.000-08:00

Recently I was reading a paper about Enterprise Architecture (don't ask) and noticed an phrase I hadn't seen before. "LODO" LODO means effort and money spent on "Lights On, Doors Open" activities. Recently, I've noticed that we stink at LODO. Our trash can gets repossessed, our home insurance lapses and, to my great dismay I pulled up to an all dark house one night last week. So dark that our fun Christmas lights around the arbor to the courtyard were not on. I knew, even before I saw the disconnection notice on the door, what had happened. In Jamey and I's defense, we had a slight miscommunication about who was in charge of what. However, I would like to submit to the jury in defense of my side, who has the previous track record hmmm????? Anyhoo, the electronic payments did not work on the new house when we added it to our account. I did do the transfer and when they asked if I wanted it on one bill, I said Yes. I did assume it would keep deducting as we have setup. After Jamey's failure with paper bills, we had established a new procedure. I would handle paper bills and he would handle everything that gets paid electronically. I mentioned to him that he would need to check the paper bill to see if the electronic payments were still working and he said "Sure." I should have known that meant, "I'm not listening to you but I don't get picked on if I say the word 'Sure' after you are done talking." Well, I am now in charge of all bills. We'll see if I do any better. Power was pretty bad, but I would really hate to lose water!

BTW, we stayed at the old house (that was still paying electronically) for a few nights. Ah, I feel so rich having a back-up house! Too bad it really means I'm poor. Here is the first pic of the front of the new house dressed in its Christmas duds!

Falling into Christmas

2007-12-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

I have to apologize for the somewhat lackluster posts lately. I cannot be creative in any two aspects of my life at once and work is getting all my intellectual effort this month. So I will continue with my series of pictures with brief descriptions and hope for a New Year of clever posts.

First of all, the new house is working out great! The short commute to work, the beautiful porch and landscaping (which really showed awesome this fall), the fantastic kitchen...total happiness.

If only the previous house didn't sit lonely waiting for an owner. A neighbor of my sister-in-law looked at our house for sale. This sounds like a good thing, but she really had no intention of buying (just wanted to look) and brought her highly destructible 2 year old with her. She told my sister-in-law "They need to get the guitars hanging in the music room down. My little girl was jumping up and down on one of the guitars when we walked in." Wha? Lots of people show their house when they still live in it lady. It is not a free for all playground for your little heathen. At least we moved the expensive guitars with us! The other fun item to transpire was a LARGE dead tree fell in the backyard of our previous house. Luckily it missed the fence, neighbor's house and our deck by inches. Still, I love that house and hold great hope that the right person will see it and enjoy it as much as we did.

Next of all, Jamey and I decided to be very careful about introducing Ruby to food. The doctor recommends starting with vegetables so they learn to like food that isn't sweet. Well, Ruby loves her vegetables, but observe her reaction to any and all fruit we put in front of her. She's a fruit hater.

On to other important events. Hoody Towel of November. I changed it up and took a picture of Ruby in one of my absolute favorite gifts (thanks Kellys!) the BABY BATHROBE. Oh awesome. She just looks hilarious in it in my opinion. No hood needed. I have no idea what's up with the off the shoulder look.

Finally catching up to last weekend! We put up our Christmas tree and instigated two new Xmas traditions.

1) Christmas Martini - Gin, Peppermint Schnapps, Vermouth While normally I detest Gin, I loved it in this drink. For some reason it just screamed Christmas. I used frozen cranberries as ice cubes.
2) Chicken and Dumplings on tree raising night. YUM!

We bought LED lights for our tree this year. Very bright but cute. I have no idea how to decorate the outside of my house. My mom is going to come help think of ideas next weekend. Maybe it will take a rocket scientist....

And finally, we partied like rock stars and played ROCK BAND, the new game for the XBOX that let's you pretend to play music without actually having to be talented (except for drums, wow that's hard!). Well, Ruby did not appreciate Jamey's rendition of Sabotage, but other than that we all had a great time and played till 1 AM. The next morning however, Jamey was not feeling so well. I watched Ruby till 10 AM then he took over. When I woke up from my nap, I walked into the living room to find Jamey entertaining Ruby as best he could.

So much more still to cover. I owe lots of pics of the new house. Maybe as I decorate it for Christmas I can take a few pictures. I love Christmas time! Buying gifts, making cookies, lots of lights yippeeee.

Ruby 5 Months

2007-11-29T05:36:00.000-08:00

Although this post is late, I did take a picture of Ruby when she turned 5 months. Amazingly, she already sits up. I wouldn't have known except her Uncle and Aunt set her sitting on the floor with a toy and she stayed there. She also learned to eat lots of veggies (squash, green beans, and sweet potatoes). For the first time I realized she actually discerns me from everyone else. No, not by smiling sweetly or cooing in happiness when she sees me, but by making a terrible face when I picked up a baby boy at daycare and talked to him. Well, I'll take what I can get. She also likes to pretend to walk, but is abysmal at trying to crawl. Should get interesting in this next month!

Gobble Gobble

2007-11-27T17:52:00.000-08:00

We had a great Thanksgiving! Ruby is sufficiently spoiled for all future Thanksgiving. While the food was good, if unremarkable, the setting was awesome. Thanks to Jamey's work with Beachguide we stayed with his family at a beautiful house in Destin Point. I highly recommend the Oasis for a great family trip.

The heated pool and spa made the cold weather no problem! Ruby loved getting in the pool. (I learned about swim diapers which are very cool.)

Playing with her cousins made her never want to sleep. The first two days, she was so afraid of missing something that she would strive to stay awake at all times.

She also got to have her first lemon which she loved and munched on contentedly.

Jamey was a hit with all the nieces and nephew as they played countless games. Bohnanza was a big hit and will probably be our Christmas gift to Taylor (the nephew, yeah it gets confusing. I also have a niece named Taylor on my side of the family.) Hope you guys all had nice Thanksgivings as well. Now if I could just find a few million to buy that house, we would be at the beach all the time. Ah well, I am all for temporarily renting a better way of life than I can actually afford to own.

First Food

2007-11-12T04:55:00.001-08:00

I was out of town last weekend. Lots to catch up on!

We gave Ruby her first food other than cereal recently. I thought of starting with one of my favorite foods, but she seemed confused.

So we went with the doctor reccomendation of carrots. She wasn't sure at first...

Then she attacked them like Godzilla.

Curried Scallops Recipe

2007-11-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had to throw together a dinner quickly. After a quick inventory, I decided on curried scallops. (this gives you an idea of my pantry staples) The result was delicious! I gave the recipe to Yvonne. She tried it with less successful results. Looking at it later, I realized I barely followed the recipe. So here is the altered Cooking Mama approved version.

1 pound frozen sea scallops (I also used some frozen shrimp)
1/8 cup sugar
1/8 cup salt
3 tbsp butter
3 cloves garlic (minced)
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon curry powder (use your favorite, I LOVE Penzy's Hot Curry Powder)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup coconut milk

Put some warm water in a bowl. Add sugar and salt. Dissolve. Add cold water to the bowl. Add scallops. Let scallops defrost in bowl. Drain.

Heat 1 tablespoon of butter in a skillet over medium-high heat until melted.
Throw in the scallops and saute 4 to 5 minutes [until white]. Remove scallops.

Heat remaining 2 tablespoons butter in the same pan. Cook garlic, flour, curry powder and salt over medium-high [medium] heat, stirring constantly, until bubbly.

Remove from heat. Stir in chicken broth and coconut milk. Put back on the medium-high setting. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir for 1 minute.

Stir in scallops. Heat about 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve over rice. I served with risotto rice that I had cooked in the microwave with some chicken broth.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T18:29:00.000-07:00

What do Ruby and a cup of Starbucks coffee have in common?
1. They can keep me awake at night.
2. They perk me up early in the morning.
3. They both could be yours for $1.79

The way I see it #614
I get my black feet from mommy.
Daddy takes me to motorcycle rides.
I manage monkeys all day.
I am a happy baby except when I am not.
Brains...not that I can say that yet.
-Ruby
The Princess of Cake

Kudos to Yvonne and Evan for making the awesome costume! Maybe I'll devote a blog entry to each sentence. I already have the brains down.

Hoody Towel of October!

2007-10-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

Pumpkin Carving Party

2007-10-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

In our ongoing Halloween celebrations this year, we also attended some friends annual pumpkin carving party. I carved the scary baby pumpkin.

Jamey faced his greatest fear and carved a clown.

Here is the entire group.

Boo!

2007-10-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Halloween as hard as we could over the weekend. Friday night we went to Boo, a party in town for the Leukemia Society. I got out my sewing machine and did a two tailed Starbucks mermaid. I don't think anyone got it all evening, but I feel it also doubled as a disco queen. Our entire group did a theme of Advertising Icons.

From left to right we have Shoney's Big Boy, Travelocity Gnome, Starbucks Mermaid, Sunmaid Raisin girl, Jolly Green Giant, Absiunthe Fairy, Count Chocula, Chef Boy Ardee, Gordon Fisherman. Not pictured are Chick-fil-a cow, Morton Salt Girl and Brawny man (sorry ladies)

Surprising chick magnet costume of the year goes to...

But the competition was FIERCE!

Ruby wants Brains!

2007-10-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we watched Flight of the Living Dead. Not the best zombie movie ever but surprisingly not bad. Unfortunately, Ruby's room even though it is two floors above were we watch movies, gets the sound. Since we watched that movie, she has switched from the sweet "a-goo" noises to hisses and grunts that can only be described as zombie like. You can see for yourself.

I had a better video but it was too big. Maybe this will give you a sample. Testing.

What's a seven letter word for family gathering?

2007-10-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

The annual Griner reunion was Oct 16th. It is always strange to see how few of Dad's relatives actually left their hometown. Grandma's house has not physically changed much since I was a kid, but it is definitely odder. Other houses used to surround my grandmother's house, but a large church bought all of them so now it is surrounded by a parking lot. My uncle cares for my grandmother and his son (30) lives there with them as well. My uncle was always very quiet when we were growing up so he is quite hard to get to know. I know he likes Conan novels, music and can't hear very well. That's about it. When we went to visit this time I was impressed with
1) The decor. My uncle enjoys watching HGTV. I'm not sure which show caught his interest but his interpretation of good design is, uh, interesting, to say the least. Four shades of green decorate the walls (where you can see walls). What's that you ask? Why can't you see the walls? I'm glad you asked. There are logs and bows covering them up. No not fabric bows although there is some of that too. I mean bow and arrow bows.
2) The lifestyle. The kitchen and living room are now separated by plywood. You might wonder why. Well, it's so they only have to run one air unit to cool the house. Makes sense you think. Until you find out a bit more. It's not just an unairconditioned kitchen. It's an unused kitchen. My uncle spends his day shooting his bow outside and then cooks outside before retiring in for the evening. I wonder what the churchgoers think of that as they walk to and from their cars? Well, he can live however he wants if he takes care of my grandmother.

The house has always been a bit weird (sorry Dad). My dad and grandfather built it over the course of seven years. My grandmother got so fed up with waiting for the new house, she moved the family one day while Papa was asleep. There were only two problems with her plan. First of all, the house wasn't finished so there was a large pit walled with cement blocks we always had to avoid as kids. (That is still there, but they put a wood platform over 1/5th of it and my uncle cooks there now.) The second problem was that my dad was away at college and no one notified him of the move. This must be a common occurance in the late 60s since the same thing happened to my mother. Thanks for not moving without telling me mom and dad!

Well, I love my dad's colorful family. The family farm is always interesting to me. My grandfather's story is that his great grandfather (or some such, I'm sure my dad has the details) was migrating south (a really long story as to why) and the wagon broke down. Obviously, it was ideal place to settle. Forget the fact that they decided to farm....and it was sandy land... Well, hardship can make the most of some people. I'm very proud of my dad for growing up immersed in all this and deciding to throw it all behind him and go to college and major in Physics. It certainly took no thinking outside the box for me to decide to go to college and I never had to worry about paying for it.

Another thing we learned. How do you entertain a large group if kids for awhile? Two bales of hay and some candy. Other activities included beach time. Ruby seemed ambivilant about her first beach experience. The red tide was bad and actually made us all cough. I didn't realize it could do that.

Four Months

2007-10-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

Ruby hit the four month mark his month. As you can see, she continues to grow LONGER. Her pajamas are 9-12 month sizes these days to fit her long legs and big feet. Her four month doctor's appointment was great. They weighed her 3 times because they couldn't believe how big she was. They also keep measuring her head. I think they think it is too small for her weight, but they don't tell new parents that. Jamey's mom pointed out that she doesn't have a small head, she just has a very oddly shaped one.

The doctor asked if Ruby is rolling over yet. I said "No." He said she would start very soon and I should never turn away from her while she is on an elevated surface. As he says this he mimics turning away and Ruby rolls over! The doctor and I both laughed and praised Ruby her grand feat. Jamey is very disappointed that she rolled to the wall instead of off the table. There are probably big bucks in having a baby roll off the table while the doctor demonstrates how NOT to turn away.

After the doctor visit, we experimented with giving Ruby cereal. She did not appreciate it at first even though it was so watered down with formula I wondered how she knew the difference. She stuck her tongue out of her mouth and wouldn't put it back in. Once she finally did, she seemed to decide it was OK. In her defense, the only other taste she had ever had was Dom Perignon (her pacifier dipped in it) celebrating the night we bought the new house.

Cooking Dada?

2007-10-16T17:54:00.001-07:00

Is there anything sexier than a man cooking and taking care of a baby at the same time? Of course, this was before we moved when we had time for such niceties like cooking. Now we eat sandwiches and struggle to empty boxes.

I still promise more on the new house. For now, I can tell you about the move (which I didn't take any pictures of). The move was far worse than I expected. It sounds small, we are just moving some furniture and leaving most of it to sell the old house. However, there is no such thing as a small move! Luckily my great friends jumped in and helped out. Evan and Yvonne particularly so as they spent 4 nights with us after the initial move getting the old house ready to sell. At one point (trip 3, I think) Jamey turned to Yvonne and said "Does it comfort you to know that the person who is in charge of your schedules so badly underestimated the move?" Why that may, indeed, petrify my coworkers, I would like to point out that it cost the same (which will please upper management to hear no doubt).

Pics of the new house, Ruby's new language, beach and reunion stories all to come!